


Deep Under The Skin

by laira348



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Dark Castle, F/M, floof family, tw for self harm in chapter 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-03-20 05:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 30,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3638502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laira348/pseuds/laira348
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rumplestiltskin dealt for a teacher for his son, he didn't expect to become so fond of her. AU in which Skin Deep happens shortly after Desperate Souls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rumplestiltskin becomes The Dark One

The dagger sinks into The Dark One’s chest. _Oh no. What have I done?_   They fall on the ground and Rumplestiltskin watches as The Dark One transforms – into the beggar.

He is at loss of words. The beggar? It made no sense. The silence drags on.

And then Zoso laughs.

“It’s you. You’re the beggar,” he stated.

Zoso is smiling wickedly, a private joke only he can understand. “Looks like you made a deal you didn’t understand,” he explained. “I don’t think you’re going to do that again.”

Rumple tilted his head to the side in confusion. “You told me to kill you.”

He couldn’t fathom why someone would do that. Not only that he told him how to kill him, he was also quite encouraging about it.

“My life was such a burden. You’ll see. Magic always comes with a price and now, it’s yours to pay.”

His? But he’s just a worthless coward. He can’t have all this power. He wouldn’t know what to do.

“Why me?” he asks. “Why me?”

“I know how to recognize a desperate soul,” Zoso replies and takes his last breath.

“No. No!” Rumple stammered frantically. “Stay! You have to tell me what to do!”

What to do with all the power? He planned to do something but he can't remember exactly what it was now. He needs someone to guide him - he's a spinner, not a wizard. He can feel the darkness creeping into his mind, changing him. _No, please no. I can’t do this, not me, please!_

“Tell me what to do!” he demanded.

Terror filled his veins. He can’t do this. He’s just a coward.

His skin feels strange and starts to take on a different shade. The shade The Dark One's skin had. He pulls the dagger out of the body and stares at it.

His name was etched into the blade.

_No._

This can't be happening.

 _But it is_ , something whispers into his ear.

The power sizzles beneath his skin, deep inside of him and suddenly he isn’t afraid anymore. Why should he be afraid? He is invincible. Nothing can hurt him now.

And those who’ll try to will pay for it.


	2. Deal with the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rumplestiltskin makes a deal with Lady Belle

Rumplestiltskin appeared in Avonlea two days after receiving the letter.

It was all panicky, urging him to save their pitiful little town from ogres. Looking around, he noticed they must have waited quite a while before calling on him. He didn’t pay attention to the outside world much, not unless he was summoned. It didn’t occur to him ogre wars could still be a real problem somewhere, even in a place so far from his former home.

Sir Maurice, who sent him the letter, offered him all the gold they had left if he’ll help them. But he couldn’t accept gold. Why should he? Now that he had magic his trade was much more valuable. After all, not everyone could spin straw into gold.

He entered the castle, damaged as it was, hiding under an invisibility cloak. He searched the castle from bottom to top, looking for a trace of magic, for anything valuable that he could claim as a price. Alas, he found nothing.

He refused to stop looking. He may not care about their fallen soldiers, but he still loathes ogres nonetheless. Banishing ogres was a great act of magic – the price needs to be equal. He had to pay it – so will Maurice.

But after fighting the ogres for so long the town didn’t have many valuables. They had quite extensive library, but no rare or magical tomes.

 _This is getting too boring._ The voice in his head remarked. _Let them die._

Rumple couldn’t remember when the voice in head first appeared, but it always made him shiver. He didn’t like it, was afraid of it even, but he couldn’t do anything about it. The best he could do is to try to ignore its tempting.

He entered the Throne Room, continuing his search when a woman clad in a golden gown came in. He stopped in his tracks and stared at her. She was the loveliest creature he ever had the pleasure encountering.

 _She could be your price_. _They did promise us gold, after all._

"He still didn’t come?" she asked, clearly speaking of him, interrupting his stray thoughts. "No, my dear,” Maurice responded gravely. “I’m afraid your plan failed."

Oh, her plan was it? Not only was she lovely she also had some common sense. Wonderful.

"There’s still hope, papa."

And then he realized who he was mooning about. Lady Belle, Maurice’s daughter. That explained why none of the morons in the council objected to a woman meddling in what they most likely believed to be a man’s job.

She would be price big enough to satisfy the magic. The castle was getting filthy, having a maid wouldn’t be so bad.

_She’s way too pretty to be a maid. You should make her yours._

_No!_ Rumplestiltskin snapped at the voice. _Bae wouldn’t like it._

_What Bae won’t know won’t hurt him._

_No._ He argued. _I told him of this deal. He’ll ask. And Rumplestiltskin doesn’t lie._

That seemed to silence him. He’ll come back, Rumplestiltskin knew. He had to listen to him so much he sometimes forgot which thoughts were his.

He watched as Maurice’s daughter discussed the war strategy with the rest of the council, just in case The Dark One won't appear after all. They didn’t much paid attention to her, but Rumple did. She was very smart. Perhaps she could teach Bae and keep him company while he’s away on deals. Bae complained about that at some point. Surely having someone to talk to would make it better?

There was of course the problem of his undeniable attraction to her. He doesn’t have to worry – or hope – she would return his feelings and he has no intention to do anything without her consent. But having her close could mean trouble for him.

A knight entered the room. "Sir, there's news from the battlefield. Avonlea has fallen."

"My gods," Maurice whispered.

Now that Rumplestiltskin finally knew what he wanted, it seemed Maurice was finally desperate to give him anything he asks for.

"If only he had come," said a tall knight who didn’t look particularly bright.

"Well he didn't, did he?" Maurice snapped. "Ogres are not men."

"We have to do something. We have to stop them."

"They are unstoppable." He sat on his throne, looking utterly hopeless.

"He could be on his way right now, papa." Belle spoke encouragingly. She had such faith in such a monster as him. She surprised him more and more with every passing moment.

"It’s too late, my girl. It’s just too late."

Oh, very desperate indeed.

He knocked on the bolted door, magically amplifying the sound to make sure he’s heard.

"It's him. It has to be him,” she stated and helped her father up.

"How did he get past the walls?" Maurice wondered and Rumple had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing. If the ogres couldn’t stop him, what good could walls do?

"Open it."

Of course, when they opened it he was no longer there. He sent his cloak back home seeing no use for it from now on and propped himself into the throne chair.

"Well, that was a bit of a letdown," Rumple smirked.

They turned around to see him toying with a tower model.

"You send me a message. Something about 'Help, help. We're dying! Can you save us?’"

That tall idiot pointed a sword at him. A sword. It's a good thing he’s taking Belle away. People in her town are imbeciles.

"And the answer is yes,” he smacks the sword away, smirking. “I can."

He gets up and throws the tower at one of the knights.

“Yes I can protect your little town. For a price,” he adds.

“We send you a promise of gold,” Maurice says.

Yes, their great promise of gold. He could spin himself more than they had it a few hours and it’s not like they could afford losing money, especially now.

“Ah, you see, I, uh, make gold. What I want is something a bit more special.”

Maurice looks at him expectantly. “My price,” he points to Belle. “Is her.”

The annoying oaf shielded her with his arm.

“No,” Maurice’s voice thundered. He had to admire putting one’s child first, but if they don’t deal with him, she’ll die along with everyone else. So it is a little counterproductive to deny him.

“The young lady is engaged,” the oaf stated. “To me.”

Is she now? Well, it’s only good she won’t be marrying you now.

“I wasn’t asking if she was engaged. I’m not looking for _love_ ,” he spits the word out as if the sole matter is disgusting to him.

_Of course you're not. Love is a weakness._

“I’m looking for a caretaker. It’s her or no deal.”

“Get out,” Maurice whispered.

Are they really all so dumb?

“Leave!”

Apparently yes.

That tall knight pushed Belle behind him again as Rumplestiltskin made his exit.

“As you wish,” he looks her in the eye. She has beautiful eyes. It would be such a shame for her to fall prey to such terrible creatures as ogres. Or have to marry that idiot. Maybe he could make a deal with just her, latter.

“No, wait!”

He stops, turning to face her again. Sooner rather than latter, it seems. She walks up to him, her heels clicking on the stone floor.

“I will go with him.”

Rumple giggled in delight and clapped his hands.

“I forbid it!”

Was she really going to marry that? Were there no suitors who’d respect her?

“No one decides my fate but me,” she responded. “I shall go.”

“It’s forever, dearie,” he warned her.

“My family, my friends – they will all live?”

“You have my word.”

“Then you have mine. I will go with you forever.”

“Deal,” he cheered. Oh, this will be glorious.

“Belle,” Maurice pleaded. “Belle. You cannot do this! Belle, please! You cannot go with this beast.”

Rumple’s eyes widened in mock hurt. He’s been called much worse. Often by the voices in his own head.

“Father, Gaston. It’s been decided.”

“You know,” Rumple added. “She’s right. The deal is struck. Oh, congratulations on your little war!”

He put his hand on the small of her back and guided her out of the room.

*

Belle observes the Great Hall as Rumplestiltskin rushes her through the castle.

“Where – where are you taking me?” she stammered, trying her best not to let her fear show. She failed, of course. It was plain to see that she was scared. After all, everyone feared monsters.

“Let’s call it your room.”

That seemed to calm her a little bit, until he stopped in front of a cell.

“My room?” she inquired.

“Well, it sounds a lot nicer than dungeon.”

Rumplestiltskin quickly pushes her inside and locks the door, giggling. It's safer for her in the dungeon, far away from him, anyway.

“You can’t just leave me in here!” she shouted and banged on the doors, but he just ignored her.

He went back to the Great Hall and sat at his spinning wheel, not wanting to endure nightmares tonight.

"Good evening, papa!"

He turned around. "Bae! How come you’re still awake?”

"I couldn't sleep,” Baelfire smiled sheepishly. “How was the deal?"

"Good, good. It took a little convincing, but the ogres are gone now."

Bae breathed out a sigh of relief. Unlike his father he cared about people selflessly and Rumplestiltskin admired that in him very much. "What was your price?" he added warily.

"Why the lord's daughter, of course."

Bae’s eyes widened. "Papa! Why would you deal for a person? You never do that."

"I thought it’s high time you get a proper education, son. She’ll be your teacher from now on.”

"Teacher?" He sounded excited and Rumple hoped he’ll drop the topic of Rumple behaving like a bastard.

"And, um, where is she?"

"She’s in the dungeon."

"Papa! We don’t put ladies in dungeon!" Bae scolded him. Lately their roles were switching sometimes and it made Rumple just a wee bit uncomfortable. He didn’t need his son to mother him. "Calm down, Bae, it’s just for a night."

"It better be!" he insisted and the added, concerned. "You won’t hurt her, will you?"

"Not unless she gives me a reason for it."

He didn’t want to hurt her. But he hurt people. It was simply the way things were, so there was no telling what could happen.

"Papa, please.”

"I’ll try, Bae. But you know I can't always control myself."

"You do with me."

Yes, but no matter what happened he always knew could never let anything happen to his beloved son. He never had any urges to hurt Baelfire like he had with other people solely for that reason, he supposed.

"That’s not the same. I couldn’t live with myself if I ever hurt you."

"I know, papa. I just want you to try not to hurt other people, too."

He didn’t understand why he should. He only ever hurt people that hurt him or Bae first. They deserved it, didn’t they? But he’d do anything for Bae, so of course he’ll try.

*    

Belle lay on the stone cot, unable to sleep. The dark one said he needed a caretaker. That could mean literally anything, including the thing she feared the most. He gave her no reason to think he would harm her, but he also gave her no reason not to think it. She was hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

The Dark One wasn’t as scary as she thought he would be. In the books he was described as some kind of hideous beast. But to Belle he was fascinating.

Of course throwing her in a dungeon was not exactly a point in his favor.

It was still better than if he took her to his room. He still could, there was nothing she could do if he decided to. The thought haunted her throughout the night, coming back anytime she almost fell asleep.

She finally drifted off in the small hours of the morning, too exhausted to stay awake.

Belle was woken up by creaking of the door, revealing The Dark One.

“Wakey, wakey, dearie,” he smirked at her.

She just glared. Sure she should be more careful, but he was just so rude, she didn’t even care.

“Well, I don’t have the whole day!”

Belle raised and the mostly sleepless night caught up with her. Her legs gave out under her and The Dark One quickly steadied her. To her relief – and surprise – he stepped away as soon as she was on her feet.

“Try not to fall, dearie, I’d hate to look for your replacement,” he spoke. “Follow me.”

Belle struggled to keep up as he took her back to The Great Hall she saw a glimpse of yesterday.

"Make the tea, will you?" he ordered and disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke.

There was a tea set on the dining table. The china was lovely with a beautiful blue flower pattern and rimmed with gold. She knew how to make tea just fine. So far it was better than she thought it would be.

"Don't let it steep too long, dearie!" the imp called.

Belle was so startled that she dropped the cup she was holding. She turned around to frown at him before crouching down to pick it up.

The cup had a chip along its rim that she was sure wasn’t there before. That’s the last the last thing she needed to happen – to break his things on the very first day.

"I'm so sorry,” she showed him the cup. “It’s chipped."

"You can hardly see it," she tried to explain, scared what he’d do to her.

"It’s just a cup," he said casually.

He had a tad confused look in his eye. As if he didn’t understand what the big deal was. He took the chipped cup from her hands and instead of throwing it away like she thought he would he pour his tea into it. He took it with a splash of lemon and an awful lot of sugar, she noted for future reference.

"I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here,” he spoke as he stirred his tea. He glanced at her when she didn’t say anything and Belle realized he was waiting for her answer.

“Yes, of course I am,” she replied.

He smirked and waved his hand. In a cloud of purple smoke a tray with food and two plates appeared. He sat down and sipped his tea.

Belle moved to sit at the chair opposite him, when he looked up sharply.

“I’m sorry, um,” she stammered, not sure what she’s done. His face betrayed his confusion for a second before a cold mask hid his thoughts. He waved his hand again and a new chair and plate appeared. He let her sit there without any words, and she contemplated why he didn’t want her to sit at the other chair. Was there someone else living with him? It seemed strange to her, but maybe she wasn’t the first person he dealt for.

“Are you going to tell me?” she asked.

“Beg you pardon?” And there was the confusion again. Belle poured herself tea and tried to calm her nerves.

“Are you going to tell me why I’m here?”

Understanding dawned on his features. “Oh, that. Well, worry not, dearie. I need you to teach my son.”

Belle almost dropped her cup again. She stared at him for a moment before he grew uneasy.

"Have I grown a second head? Why are you staring at me?"

Belle looked down. "I’m sorry, it’s just...not what I expected." This possibility didn’t even occur to her, her mind occupied with her irrational fears.

"Well, I’m sure it’s better than what you expected," he smiled knowingly.

Oh, much better. Maybe now she could sleep at night, not dreading the moment he’ll come and take her.

They sit there for a while, awkward silence hanging in the air, the only sounds them drinking from their cups. He made no move to eat anything and Belle wasn’t sure she should. Just when she thought the silence was going to make her lose her mind, he got up and walked to the staircase.

“Bae!” he shouted. “How many times am I supposed to tell you to get up?”

“I’m coming!” a voice called back and the imp went back to the table, shaking his head and smiling affectionately. She didn’t thought she would see such a soft expression on his face.

After another awkward moment a young boy with brown floofy hair came in. He couldn’t be more than fifteen years old, Belle mused as he sat in the empty chair.

“Good morning, he smiled at her nervously. “I’m Baelfire.”

“Nice to meet you, Baelfire,” she replied. “I’m Belle.”

He made a beeline for the food and only then did his father start eating, too. Belle took it as a permission to join them and he didn’t seem to mind.

They ate their breakfast in silence, thought it wasn’t as uncomfortable as before Baelfire came.

“We should show Belle around the castle, Papa, so she won’t get lost,” Baelfire suggested.

His father nodded. “That’s not a bad idea, son. It’s a big castle.”

They got up and she reluctantly followed them. The Dark One was acting like a show man as he guided her. It was a bit unnerving, watching him flourish and prattle about.

"The dungeon is that way,” he waved in its general direction. “You're already familiar with it I think?"

"More than enough, sir," she shivered. If she never seen it again it would still be too soon.

Baelfire laughed. It startled Belle a bit. Did the boy follow his father’s footsteps onto the dark path? He was just a child, but he was a child raised by the darkest sorcerer in the realm.

"I’ve never heard anyone call Papa 'sir'," he chuckled. "It sounds a bit silly."

Oh. So it wasn’t cruelty. Hopefully.

"Well, I don't know his name and calling him The Dark One seems a bit rude, doesn't it?" She certainly didn't want to offend him. The Dark One stole an uncertain glance at her.

"Rumplestiltskin," he mumbled.

"What?"

"My name," he hissed. "Rumplestiltskin. You may use it."

"Rumplestiltskin," she whispered to try it out. It was a rare name, definitely, but Belle liked it. It suited him, she thought. A strange name for a strange man.

“Most of the rooms in the east wing are empty, or they’re used as storage rooms. You may enter them. But if you take anything from them put it back where you found it. It may not seem like it, but I know exactly where each object resides."

"Pap's a bit chaotic," Bae whispered to her.

"And I have excellent hearing," Rumplestiltskin added with a grin, but otherwise didn't do anything to stop Bae from over sharing.

"He claims it's an organized chaos, but I wouldn't believe him if I were you."

Rumplestiltskin chuckled, but there was no malice in it. Even monsters can be kind to their offspring, it seemed.

"Up these stair is my labratory. You're forbidden from entering, unless I accompany you."

He gazed her in the eye and waved his finger at her. "I'm serious. There are many dangerous things. Would be a pity if I had to clean up your remains."

"Got it." She shivered again. Stay away from the magic, that she could do.

"Good," he replied and they continued to the east wing of the castle. He opened a door to a study. “You’ll be teaching Bae here. All the supplies you’ll need should be here.”

They continued through the corridor, until Rumplestiltskin stopped in front of another door.

“I, um,” he opened the door and stepped away. “This will be your room.”

Belle stared at the lovely bedroom he showed her. It was nearly as grand as her room back home. It wasn’t a room fit for a servant.

“My room?”

“Well, it’s a lot nicer then the dungeon,” he muttered.

“Thank you,” Belle smiled. He didn’t return it, but his face did show a bit of softening around the rough edges.

“We’ll leave you to settle, then. I’ll call you when it’s time for dinner,” he said and left. Bae smiled at her and hurried to catch his father.

Belle sat down on the bed. It was very cozy. He may have put her in a dungeon yesterday, but today she would sleep silk. It didn’t make sense to Belle. Why lock her in the dungeon for one night? To ensure her fear of him? One would think leaving with The Dark One would be enough.

But she couldn’t say she was frightened of him. Not truly, at least. But maybe she should be.


	3. No lesson could teach me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which something is stolen and hope is restored

The new help, Belle, seemed to be adjusting quite nicely. From time to time she looked at him with a curious look - like she was trying to see through him. It made him nervous.

And she smiled.

He didn't really mind as much as he should, most likely because her smiles were so pretty. He could probably survive if she only smiled.

But she cried, too.

Every night. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t spin, he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

A part of him - a part of him he thought had died long ago - wanted to comfort her and wasn't that just ridiculous.

_So pathetic._

Bae liked her. And Rumplestiltskin didn't dislike her.

It wasn't bad. And she had a very pleasant voice, with a nice accent, he noticed when she read aloud. How wonderful it would sound, moaning his name in pleasure. And her beautiful blue eyes darkened with desire...

_Or filled with disgust and fear._

Rumple abruptly stopped thinking about her. No use thinking about things that can’t happen. Because she could never want him.

No one could.

*

The ogres were here.

They got past the walls. Belle was in the library with her mother, preparing to flee, but there was no time. Mama hid under a table with her and they waited.

She could hear their steps. One of the monsters ripped the doors to shreds. The ogre flipped the table and Belle cried out. And then everything went black.

Belle woke up in cold sweat.

It was like this almost every night. She dreamt of the attack, but she never remembered the rest of it. Her mother was dead and she didn’t even remember it.

Tears streamed down Belle’s face as she thought of mama. She was the one who raised Belle, her father too busy ruling their town. And she was gone.

Belle cried into the pillow, until the door to her room opened.

"When you so eagerly agreed to come and work for me, I assumed you wouldn't miss your family quite so much," Rumplestiltskin complained.

"I've made my sacrifice for them," she snapped. "Of-Of course I miss them, you beast!"

She normally wouldn’t have talked that way to him, but she was hurt. She needed comfort, not someone complaining about her tears.

"Yes, yes, of course, but the crying must stop. Night after night! It's making it very difficult for me to spin. You know, I do my best thinking then."

Belle stared at him in astonishment. How can he say that?

Nervousness flickered beneath his cold mask. He waved his hand and a handkerchief appeared. "Here. Maybe this would help?"

"For me?"

He was angry at her. Why would he give her something? Of course he won’t miss a handkerchief, but it seemed strange for him to do something so...selfless.

"Not quite so beastly now, am I?"

He threw it at her and turned to leave.

"Thank you," she said after a silent moment and then added bitterly. "Maybe now I can actually get some sleep."

"No, no, no, it's not to help you sleep, dearie," he said quickly, making sure she didn't get the wrong idea and thought he was being kind. "It's to muffle the cries so I can get back to work!"

Before Belle had a chance to say anything the sound of breaking glass echoed through the castle. Rumplestiltskin stalked out with a worried expression on his face. Belle followed him, needing to make sure Bae was fine. No matter what differences she had with his father she would never wish harm on Baelfire.

But Bae was nowhere to be seen when they found a hooded man in the great hall. He was admiring Rumplestiltskin’s collection.

"Are you sure you want to do this, dearie?" Rumplestiltskin asked, visibly relieved Bae wasn’t hurt.

"Pretty sure," the thief smiled cockily and took of his hood. He held the wand that was on the pedestal in his hand, not showing any fear of the Dark One, which Belle supposed was admirable

"If you don’t know how to use that wand, it can do nasty things to you!" Rumple stated gleefully.

“Well then,” he put the wand into the quiver and drew an arrow. ”Do you know what this arrow can do to you?”

The Dark One smirked. "Has to hit me first."

And then he teleported to the other side of the room. And stood still.

“Shouldn’t be a problem,” he pointed the arrow at him.

Why was Rumplestiltskin just standing there? Yes, he had all the power he needed to heal himself, but why let people shoot him in the first place?

“An arrow fired from this bow always finds its target,” he paused and then whispered. "Don't you just love magic?"

He fired and Rumplestiltskin teleported yet again, this time next to the thief. The arrow changed its direction and hit him square in the chest. He gasped in pain and Belle rushed to him.

It was a shock - she still expected him to do something. To shield himself. But he let the thief shoot him. He wasn’t going to die, was he?

"I know I do," the thief whispered and walked away. Belle was too concerned with the fact Rumplestiltskin had an arrow in his chest to care.

She almost reached him when he teleported again. He stood in front of the man who just tried to kill him.

"As do I!"

He ripped the arrow out of himself and vanished it. It was quite a relief to see he was alright, even if the gleam in his eyes and his high-pitched giggle meant trouble.

"But don't you know? All magic comes with a price and in your case, that's me."

Oh oh. This won’t end well.

*

Baelfire was cross with his father since he learned he had a prisoner. Belle had feeling Rumplestiltskin was punishing the thief more due to his frustration of fighting with his son, rather than because he tried to steal.

His screams echoed through the castle and Belle tried to focus on her book, but she couldn't. No one deserved to be tortured.

Rumplestiltskin came to the greathall, wearing a bloodied apron. He made his tea – still favoring the chipped cup – and drank it like nothing was happening. Like he wasn’t torturing someone a while ago.

Belle put her book down and gathered her courage to speak up.

"All this because he tried to steal a magic wand?" she inquired. He looked up at her, irritated. “No, because he tried to steal from _me_. The Dark One. You try that, you get skinned alive. Everyone knows that.”

Belle had to stop herself before speaking her rather unladylike thoughts she had about him at the moment.

“Actually? No, they don’t,” she held her ground. He hesitated for a moment.

“Well they will after they discover the body,” he giggled and walked away, in the opposite direction of the dungeon.

She can’t let him do this.

It was a spur of the moment decision, as most of her decisions were, but she had to do it. She ran to the kitchen, filled a goblet with water and rushed to the cell the thief was locked in.

She stood in the doorframe, unable not to stare at him. His hands were tied to the ceiling, his shirt was ripped open, dried blood on his chest. He looked terrible.

“What?” he laughed breathlessly. “Did he send you to finish the job?”

“Uh, no, no. Not at all,” she could finally move. She could admire him for trying to find humor at even the worst of situations, but she just shivered.

“Here, drink this,” she gave him the water, holding the cup to his mouth. He drank it all in few seconds.

“I couldn’t let this continue. It’s-it’s inhuman.”

She started to untie the rope. _Let’s think of the consequences later._

“I-I couldn’t agree more. But I fear now he’ll turn his wrath on you.”

_He can try._

“If he does then I’ll stand up to the beast that he is. Because no one -” The rope was untied and he fell to the ground. Belle hurried to him and unlocked his chains. “No one deserves to be tortured.”

“He may beg to differ,” he warned her.

“Well, I don’t care. He doesn’t frighten me.”

He looked at her in surprise. “Hurry up. He’ll be back soon,” she helped him up. “Hurry.”

He sprinted away, but stopped at the door. He turned back at her, doubt in his eyes. “But he will-he will kill you,” he gulped. “Unless-unless you run away with me. “

It was a bit tempting, but she couldn’t be so selfish. What would happen to her people? And what about Baelfire?  
“I can't run. I made a deal to serve him, in exchange for him protecting my kingdom and my family from the ogres. If I were to leave, I might survive, but my family surely won't,” she explained.  
“Then all I can do is wish you luck.”  
“Thank you. Now go. Go.”

He hurried out of the dungeon and all Belle could do is pray he will escape.

*

Rumple pick up a knife and did his best not to look at his son. He was doing it to protect him. What if the thief shoot at him or Belle? People have to learn not to cross him.

“I'll try not to be too loud. I can't promise the same courtesy from our prisoner,” he spoke softly and left.

But the cell was empty.

Oh that stupid girl.

“Belle!” he shouted. “Where is he?”

Belle swallowed nervously. “Gone. I let him go.”

Bae smiled at her, but Rumple ignored him for the moment. He was confused and mad.

_As you should be. She had no right to do that._

“What?” he asked. “He was a thief!”

“Which doesn't give you the right to kill him,” she insisted. She was too brave and honorable for her own good.

_You should teach her to do better. She disobeyed you after all, are you going to let her escape without punishment?_

“It gives me every right! Oh, let me guess. You think he's a hero, stealing from me for some noble cause. You read too many books, dearie! There,” he vanished the book she was holding, forgetting she was reading it to Bae. “Maybe that'll stop filling your head with poisonous thoughts!”

“I didn't free him because of what I read in my books,” she argued. “I saw good in him. That man only wanted to escape with his life.”

“Oh, is that what you thought? Our thief escaped with more than his life.”

Rumple pointed to the empty pedestal which used to hold the wand.

“You were tricked.You foolish, gullible girl!” he barked.

“Papa! Stop!” Bae shouted at him. But Rumple still didn’t want to look in Bae’s eyes and see the disappointment there, so he ignored him.

Belle got up and bit her lip.

“There must be an explanation. We-we don't know why he needed that wand,” she pleaded, but he wasn’t in the mood to listen to excuses right now.

“He took the wand because he wanted magic! People who steal magic never have good intentions!”

"You did," Bae whispered.

That stopped Rumple for a second. He did, didn’t he? Have good intentions. He wanted to turn the power towards good.

 _Look where your good intentions brought you,_ the voice in his head taunted. _You’re mine now, spinner, and you’ll never know anything other than darkness._

“That doesn’t matter,” he mumbled.

“Yes it does! You were a good man and now you’re turning into a monster!” Bae shouted.

_I’m doing my best to speed up the process, thank you. I’d already be finished if it wasn’t for you._

“So you know I have no problem hunting him down and shooting him with his bow, don’t you?” he snapped.

“And you,” he pointed at Belle. “Are coming with me.”

There. That should stop them from talking back to him.

“Then I will go as well,” Bae replied. Why does he have such a stubborn son?

_Genetics. Tell me about it._

“No, you won’t. Not a sight fit for your young eyes, Bae.”

“I have seen you kill before,” he snapped. That hurt. But it was the truth. What can he do with it.

“I want to go. If you’re going to end someone’s life, you will to do it in front of me, so you’re fully aware of the price you will pay for such an act.”

He stared at his son, but Bae wasn’t going to back down.

“As you wish.”

*

The bumpless carriage ride – he may be mad, but he still wanted them to be comfortable – was getting way too long. The silence stretched the time and he felt like they were driving forever.

Bae can’t stay angry at him too long, can’t he?

"This forest is too thick. I'm losing track of him," he complained when he feared the quiet will make him lose his mind.

"Maybe it's time to turn around and go home?" Belle smiled sweetly.

Nice try.

"What and let the thief escape? What would people think if I spared the life of someone who stole from me?”

They were all stubborn. One of them has to give in and the end and it will not be Rumplestiltskin.

"That my papa is still hiding behind the beast?”

Bae on his own was trouble, but along with Belle it was even worse. What on earth was he going to do with them?

_I have a few suggestions._

_No one asked_ you _, demon._

“Who says there is?” he muttered, not intending them to hear.

“Then why didn’t you kill me when I freed the prisoner?”

_We still could._

“Well, I would have, but, uh,” he stuttered, finding an excuse. “Good help these days is really hard to find.”

Yes, of course. That sounds convincing. Not that Belle looked convinced. Why can’t she just accept his mask as the truth as anyone else would’ve? It would be all so simpler.

He didn’t want to admit that he wanted her to see him, the real him. Not even to himself.

“I think you aren’t as dark as you want people to believe.”

“I’m still plenty dark!” he snapped. _Whatever you do, don’t let her in. She will never understand._

He held up his hand to stop the carriage. It wouldn’t do to chase him this way. He needed a little more to go on than a faint trail.

He got out and helped Belle and Bae out of the carriage.

_Lose the manners, spinner._

The local sheriff jumped of his horse and after regaining his balance – no wonder people stole when they had a drunken sheriff – walked to them.

"What are you doing in my woods?"

Your woods, is it?

"Pardon the intrusion, sheriff. Uh, I'm looking for a thief. He attacked me with this bow. Uh, I... I traced him as far as these woods and then he vanished,” Rumple spoke with a different accent, enjoying the show.

"Yes, I know exactly who you're after,” he admitted. “But I also know who you are, Dark One.”

Maybe he isn’t as stupid as he looked.

“My reputation precedes me. Excellent.”

“Yes as does your penchant for making deals,” he continued. “I'll tell you where you can find your thief if you give me something in return.”

Well, nothing’s free, he supposed.

_Just kill him. I’m bored._

“What do you want?”

“A night with your wench.”

Did he just-? Does he have a death wish?

_Kill him. She’s ours!_

He looked back at Belle who appeared to be terrified. That pig made a girl who wasn’t afraid of _The Dark One_ scared.

_You’re going to pay for that._

“She’s not for sale,” he hissed.

“You can't part with her for, say, an hour? 20 minutes?”

_Who does that sick bastard think he is?_

“Let me think,” Rumple smirked and waved his hand.

The sheriff’s tongue appeared on his palm. He giggled in delight. He deserved so much more for speaking that way of Belle, but needs must.

“I propose a new deal. I give you this back, and in return, you tell me everything you know about the man I am hunting.”

It was wonderful to see the sheriff gagging in pain.

“You ought to be more careful with your possessions. Do you agree to my terms?”

He tried to speak, but couldn’t. “What was that? All right, I'll take that as a yes then.”

“Start talking,” he hissed.

“The thief that you're after. I've been chasing him for years. He ruined me! He stole the woman I love and made me the laughingstock of all of Nottingham,” he whined.

_I don’t care! Just tell me who he is!_

“Where can I find him?”

“Well, the last I heard, he was hiding out in Sherwood forest.”

“And his name?”

“Robin Hood. He goes by Robin Hood.”

*

Rumplestiltskin walked in the direction the thief should be. He tried to get Bae to stay in the carriage, which didn’t work, so he and Belle followed him.

To his surprise Bae didn’t disapprove of him hurting Nottingham, which left him confused. There’s no difference. Nottingham deserves it, Hood deserves it.

"You know it's still not too late to turn back."

_You should’ve killed her when she disobeyed us._

"You know, I am not going to stand by and watch you kill a man!"

"Well, you’re welcome to sit if you'd like, but you are gonna watch. That's the whole point of our little expedition, remember? To see what your actions wrought."

That silenced her. Why can't they just be happy he can protect them?

There was the thief, leaning against a tree, the wand in his hand.

"Found him."

"Look, he’s waiting for someone."

_Why should I care?_

Someone brought a cart with a woman on it and rode away on a horse, leaving the other horse behind.

“That woman,” Bae pointed.

"That must be the one he stole from the sheriff."

Although stole is not the word he would use. More like rescued, he’d say.

“She’s sick. She’s going to die,” Belle remarked.

“Yes and so is he,” he muttered.

"Stop!" she tugged on his hand to stop him and when did she got so close?

They all watched as Hood dragged the wand over the woman, healing her.

Well, damn. Belle was right.

“I’m right about him, about why he stole the wand. He did it so he can heal the woman he loves.”

Why was she so impressed? Did she appreciate heroic romantic gestures?

_Well then you have no chance._

“He’s still a thief.”

“And she would’ve died if he hadn’t stolen your wand.”

“And now he gets to die! And she can tell all of Sherwood Forest what happens when you cross The Dark One.”

He waved his hand and planted the two troublemakers into the ground. He wouldn’t put it past them to do something stupid.

“There! That should give you a good view.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Bae argued. “There’s good in you, Papa!”

Robin still hadn’t noticed him, happily scooping the woman into his arms. Now that she wasn’t hidden beneath the blanket he could see her swollen belly.

Oh.

“Look! She’s pregnant!”

“You wouldn’t leave a child fatherless.”

_Just kill him._

He fired the arrow, aiming for the thief.

"No!" they both yelled.

The arrow burrowed into the cart.

The thief and the woman left quickly, but Rumplestiltskin paid them no mind. He let his son and Belle stand freely again, now that he wasn’t shooting anyone.

"What happened?" Belle asked smugly.

"I missed," Rumple hissed a bit, pretending to be irritated.

"Go back to the carriage. I'm bored of this forest."

"You're not going after him?" Baelfire asked in a tiny hopeful voice.

He shook his head. "Not worth the efforts."

"You spared his life," he beamed.

"I did no such thing!" Rumple insisted, thought to no avail.

"That bow has magic in it," Belle deadpanned. "It never misses its target."

Infuriating girl. She's just the help, she's in no place to speak to him in such way.

"Well perhaps the magic simply wore," he turned to her and faltered. He underestimated her closeness. She stood there, all blue eyes an full lips and eyebrow raised in a challenge he just obviously lost.

"Off," he finished lamely and she just smiled.

Smiled and threw her arms around his neck, locking him in an embrace. He froze, his mind empty for the moment. He had no idea what to do.

When she let him go, early, too early, he still didn't get the c burrowed control over his body - and his dignity - back.

She patted his shoulder, smiled some more and walked to the carriage. He stared after her in awe.

She turned when she heard no footsteps behind her. "Aren't you coming?" she asked innocently.

That freed him and he looked and Bae, who was grinning so wide he worried it might split his face. With a slight nod from both bewildered men Belle continued on walking.

Bae beamed at his father and hurried off after his teacher, leaving utterly confused Rumple behind.

Well, whatever it was, it was worth a little confusion, he thought and picked up the arrows, following his son with a true smile on his face.

*

"Looks like you won't be needing that bow anymore," Belle remarked.

"Actually, I think I'll hold on to it. You never know. Could come in handy someday."

Bae rolled his eyes fondly.

"Well if you don’t need me for anything else, good night, Rumplestiltskin."

He didn’t want her to go.

"No, wait. There is something else."

She tilted her head at him.

"Come with me. Both of you."

He was nearly finished anyway, his magic doing the rest while they walked. He wanted to build a library for Bae and now, with Belle being such a bookworm, he killed two birds with one stone.

Maybe they'll accept it as an apology.

They followed him, confused, till he guided them to the tower.

"Temper your excitement, dearie. It's merely for academic purposes."

A lie of course, but did it really count as a lie if no one believed him to begin with?

Oh, anything was worth seeing the joy on their faces.

"There's more books than I could read in a lifetime."

"Well then let's hope you're a fast reader."

She noticed the book he took from her on the table, an apology of sorts and went to flick through its pages.

"Did you do all this for me?" Bae wondered.

"Well, who am I to deny my son proper education." He smiled at them. "But it's late. You can explore this tomorrow."

Bae hugged him and left, but Belle lingered.

"What are you smiling at?"

She chuckled and took his hand in hers, thoroughly shocking him yet again. "You're not who I thought you were. And I'm glad."

*

Bae lied in his bed, unable to sleep. Today started so badly and it ended so well. His papa was still there.

There was still hope.


	4. Silver lining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which deals are struck

Belle liked it in the dark castle so far. Teaching Bae was a nice job. He was smart and wanted to learn, even if he liked trouble a bit too much. They recently moved their lessons into the library, which they both liked better than the study.

Rumplestiltskin stayed there with them sometimes, not trusting her alone with Bae. She told him she would never hurt a child, but he stubbornly refused to leave them alone for any extended period. So Belle let him sit there and read, pretending not to notice his eyes on her.

She had his son to focus on anyway. His education was spotty at best - he admitted his papa taught him all he could, which wasn't much. He could read and write a bit and knew basics in counting. He was very proud to tell Belle he knew everything about sheep and wool and that he could spin a bit, too, thought.

It wasn’t hard to deduce the rest from that. Rumplestiltskin used to be a wool spinner and somehow ended up The Dark One. Belle longed to know the rest of the story, but she knew better than to pry, even if she was curious. She wondered what happened to Bae’s mother, too – she was nowhere to be seen and neither ever mentioned her.

Either way, it wouldn't do her any good to dwell on such things. Rumplestiltskin was many things, but open was not one of them. It was a mystery she'll probably never learn.

*

Rumple postponed it as much as he could, but he had to go now. He got a letter, asking him to come to Camelot. He didn’t want to go. He didn’t trust the girl.

_Why should you?_

And he also liked to be around her, whether he admitted it to himself or no.

That let him to stand awkwardly outside of the library, needing to alert her and his son of his absence, but unsure how to tell them. But time was ticking away and he really needed to leave.

He opened the door and they didn’t even look up, used to him chaperoning them. He cleared his throat, hoping to make this talk short.

“Did you want something, Rumplestiltskin?” Belle asked. He nodded.

“Yes, well, I have business. Away from the castle. In Camelot. So…I’ll be gone for a while,” he stated. Bae glanced at him sadly. “Do you have to go?”

Oh, it broke his heart to have to leave his precious boy home, but at least now he won’t be alone.

“I’m afraid so, son.”

Bae nodded and stood up to hug him goodbye.

“Okay, papa. But come back soon, will you?”

“Yes, of course. Now don’t get yourself into any trouble. And Belle?” he turned to her. She raised her eyebrows questionably, no doubt waiting for him to threaten to end her if she hurts his son, just like he did several times before.

“Keep him safe,” he requested instead.

“I will,” she nodded.

He vanished then.

*

He finished the deal in short time, loathing to be away from his son.

_And from the girl._

_Maybe_ , Rumple smiled wistfully.

_You‘re making me sick._

When he came back Belle was reading to Bae in the library. He watches them for a moment, imagining they are a mother and son. That they live back in the hut and he’s not a monster anymore.

 _Not a monster, no, but a coward, which is not much better,_ the voice taunts _. And meanwhile, you’re still both._

He sighs and goes to spin. Better not interrupt them with his ugliness.

*

Belle went downstairs to pick up lunch for her and Bae, when she noticed a gauntlet lying on the dining table. It wasn’t there before, which meant Rumplestiltskin probably brought it back from Camelot.

She picked it up to study it.

“Careful, dearie,” he called and she jumped, startled. “That’s not for you to play with.”

She glared at him. It wouldn’t kill him to be nice a bit. “I’m sorry. I was curious,” she apologized, still a bit wary of him. “You just have so many things here from all over the world. And you never talk about them.”

“Well, you're the help,” he scoffed.

She walked up to him. “And you're rude,” she spat to his face.

“Well, I could be much worse.”

Of course he could. But he wasn’t. Belle was getting tired of all of his excuses.

“Hmm. But you're not. No, if you were going to kill me, you would have done it already. Now, tell me what you've seen. How was your trip to Camelot?”

“Good for me,” he told her with a smirk. “Not so good for Camelot.”

“And you dealt for a gauntlet?” she wondered.

“It’s magical,” he snapped and took it from her hands. “Now why don’t you go be annoying somewhere else?”

The great hall vanished and instead of it, Belle found herself in a garden right outside of the castle. She could feel the weight of her cloak on her shoulders, protecting her from the chilly air.

“You know there are other ways to stop people from talking to you,” Belle complained. “And no, I am not talking to myself because I know you can and do listen to me.”

She didn’t have any proof of that, but it seemed that way to her. If not then she made a fool out of herself in front of a few trees, so it was fine.

Not only trees, she noticed. Trees and a puppy.

What was a puppy doing here? Bae mentioned they had a horse, but he didn’t say anything about dogs. It must have got lost.

“Hello, puppy,” Belle smiled.

Hebarked at her, but he also waved its tail, so it seemed alright. When she tried to approach him thought, he ran into the forest. Belle followed him, but he was gone in a moment.

“Where did you go?”

Then she felt someone grab her. She struggled and tried to scream, but they covered her mouth and teleported away with her.

*

Rumplestiltskin wasn’t very happy. He thought Bae would be glad to see him, and he was at first, but then he asked him where belle was. Then he scolded him, telling him he shouldn’t have sent Belle out in this cold and that he should bring her back inside. So here he was walking around his garden, looking for the girl.

“Belle?” he called. “Belle!”

No one answered and the garden seemed deserted.

“Where have you gone?” he wondered. “Don’t tell me you’ve done something stupid like running away!”

But she wouldn’t do that, would she?

_Of course she would. Everyone would._

A crow appeared and dropped something on the ground. A sand dollar. He sighed. Not many people knew it, but they had magical properties. They were good for sending messages. Rumple picked it up and waved his hand over it.

The message appeared in yellow smoke. He could see Belle, her hands tied. He really should improve the wards around the castle.

“Rumplestiltskin,I'm… I'm supposed to ask you for... for that gauntlet from Camelot. Bring it to the base of Demon's Bluff at midnight or... or I'll be killed.”

He watched in horror as she sobbed.

“Rumple, help!” she cried and with a laugh from her captors the message ended.

He groaned. He won’t let her get hurt. “You!” he yelled at the crow.I know where you came from! Tell your master I know who she is and she's just crossed a line!”

The crow flew away and he stood there with the sand dollar still in his hand.

_You can’t let them beat you!_

_I don’t care about them beating me! I care about Belle not getting killed, you idiot!_

He held the sand dollar in his hand and went back to the castle.

Bae was waiting for him there. “Where’s Belle?” he asked.

Rumple looked down. “She…she was kidnapped.”

“What?” Bae whimpered.

“She was kidnapped. They asked for a ransom.”

"Papa, we have to save her!" Bae pleaded. He looked just as anxious as Rumple felt. It didn't exactly calm Rumple.

"What you have to do is stay home, where you're safe."

"But papa, they will hurt her!"

"And I won't let them!" he replied

He has already decided the moment he saw her in ropes. Maleficent can't beat him. If she lays a finger on Belle, she's dead.

"But they don't know about you,” he continued.”Otherwise they would've taken you, not Belle. So you have to stay here. And I will go for her and get her out. I’ll pay the ransom if I must. But you must stay here.”

Bae rushed to embrace him, few tears escaping his eyes. “Just save her, papa.”

*

Rumple was pacing around with the gauntlet in his hands.

“I have what you want, dearie. Now show yourself,” he hissed. He wasn’t very patient at the moment.

Belle stumbled into the view. His eyes were wide as he watched her beg him to help her.

“Yes, Rumplestiltskin,” Maleficent’s voice echoed next to them. “You help her.”

A flock of crows flew to the ground and transformed into the witch.

“Maleficent,” he greeted her in his imp voice, knowing full and well his panic wasn’t going to help Belle. “Oh! I am impressed. Didn’t think you had it in you.”

She smiled coldly. “I’m not here for your praise. Give me the gauntlet and you can have your wench back.

Oh, he hated when people called her that.

“Seeing as you ask so nicely,” he laughed and started squeezing the life out of her.

_That’s right. Kill her._

“You think you can steal from The Dark One and live.”

_Well, you did let the last thief go._

“Fatal mistake, dearie. Any last words?”

“I’m…not…alone,” she gasped out and laughed. He heard a splash and then a tentacle wrapped itself around Belle’s throat.

_No!_

“The sea witch,” he realized and tried not to show his concern for Belle.

Ursula laughed as she wrapped another tentacle around Belle’s torso. “Such a pretty thing,” she taunted.

_Yes, pretty, but ours._

“Seems a shame I’ll have to crack her pipes.

“Harm one hair on her head, Maleficent burns,” he threatened, although he wasn’t sure Ursula cared if Maleficent lived or not.

“And Ursula will kill your maid and where would that leave us,” another voice spoke.

"Cruella, thought I caught a whiff of desperation and gin. I must say I’m surprised to see you all here. I didn’t think you the types for team work. And unless you hand her back, you won’t get a chance to find out.”

“Shall I get you a stepstool so you can look in my eyes when you threaten me?” she snapped.

“I don’t need to threaten you, dearie,” he growled. “It took three of you to get this far and I promis you, it isn’t far enough.

“Have it your way, then,” Cruella shrugged."Ursula, darling, crush the girl's heart."

_No! They can’t kill her!_

Ursula wrapped one more tentacle around Belle and he watched her struggle for air. He didn’t have much time to decide.

“Garh!” He tossed the gauntlet at Cruella and dropped Maleficient. Ursula, in turn, let Belle go.

“That was a…rather risky endeavor for an old glove, dearies,” he spoke to mask his relief.

“It was worth the risk. The gauntlet will reveal our enemies weaknesses and we will be the victors.”

He almost forgot about the gauntlet’s power.

_What if they find Bae?_

_Or worse – the dagger._

“Let her go,” Maleficent decided and Ursula pushed Belle to him. He caught her and the witches left. He steadied her and tried to make sure she was unharmed.

“Why would you do that?” she asked. “I mean that object –“

“They won’t be able to harm you,” he ensured her, realizing she didn’t know what it did.

“Why do you care about that?” she asked curiously, with a gleam in her eyes.

His mouth dropped open.

He had to make an excuse.

_Don’t let her see your weaknesses._

“I don’t!” he snapped and stepped back from her. He never could think well with her so close. “But if anyone’s gonna crush your heart, it’s gonna be me!” He rubbed his fingers nervously as her face fell.

*

Belle was so glad to be back at the castle. She was so scared they will kill her. Rumplestiltskin may not want to admit it, but he saved her life. He had no reason to bargain for her and yet he did. Again.

“Belle!” Bae called and ran to embrace her. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

She smiled and hugged him back.

“Bae, it’s late. You should go to bed.”

Bae look at his father in shock. “Did you expect me to sleep while Belle could get killed at any moment?”

“No,” Rumplestiltskin sighed. “But now that she’s fine, you should really go to sleep.”

Bae rolled his eyes, but obeyed. Belle was quite tired as well – you aren’t kidnapped every day, after all – and after a nod to Rumplestiltskin headed upstairs. But something stopped her.

The gauntlet was still on the table.

She turned to Rumplestiltskin in confusion.

“My father taught me something. The only useful thing he passed on, really,” he spoke, not looking at her. She didn’t understand why he was giving her that random piece of information, so she waited for more.

“A bit of sleight of hand called ‘follow the lady’.”

She raised her eyebrow. She knew the game, but didn’t understand what it had to do with anything.

“I gave them a fake,” he shrugged, but he still wouldn’t look at her.

She was worth saving, but not worth giving up some magical trinket. That really shouldn’t hurt. Since when did she care if he cared?

“What does it do?” she asked in a monotone.

“What?” he asked and now he was finally looking at her.

“The gauntlet. I was almost killed for it, I deserve to know what it does. They said something about revealing weaknesses?”

He had no need for that. He had enough power to destroy anyone he wished. He didn’t have to find their weaknesses.

“That’s right. It can locate anyone’s greatest weakness.”

It sounded ominous. But it was probably powerful enough for them to threaten to kill her for it.

“And for almost everyone, that weakness is the thing they love most,” he added.

And then it all made sense again. He didn’t want to use it, he was worried they would use it against him.

“You didn’t want them to find Bae,” she stated. It wasn’t a question. No, she knew she was right.

“Most of my enemies don’t know I have a son. I’d prefer to keep it that way.”

Belle smiled. “Well, thank you for saving my life.”

He glanced at her. “I didn’t –“

She glared at him.

“You’re welcome,” he murmured.

She went to her room and found Bae sitting on her bed.

“Sorry,” he smiled sheepishly. “I still couldn’t sleep.”

She sat next to him and waited patiently for him to tell her whatever is it he wanted to talk about.

“I’m sorry you were kidnapped,” he blurted out.

“It’s not your fault,” she waves it away.

“Is it not?” he asked. Belle tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean, Bae? Of course it’s not.”

He signed and looked away, fidgeting his hands in a habit he must have learned from his father.

“It’s just that…papa became The Dark One to protect me. And if he didn’t bring you here, you wouldn’t get kidnapped.”

Belle put her hand on Bae’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. “Don’t talk like that, Bae. If your father didn’t made a deal with me, I would’ve died under the hands of an ogre. “

“So would I if he didn’t do what he did. But I don’t like it. This dark magic he’s wrapped in now.”

“You don’t have to. I meant that even the worst of things have a good side.”

“That doesn’t make it okay,” he snapped. She shook her head. “No, it doesn’t. There is nothing good about the ogre wars, but the deal I made with your father saved me from an unhappy marriage. So something good happened because of a terrible thing.”

“Every cloud has a silver lining,” he whispered.

“Exactly.” She was happy he was getting the knack of it so soon.

“My mother used to say that. She said I was the only thing keeping her from leaving. She hated my papa, even thought he was a kind man back then,” his voice broke a few times, but Belle didn’t mention it. “A pirate killed her. And even thought we were sad she died, it was better for us. She always laughed at papa and called him names and left me home alone to go drink in the tavern.”

Belle squeezed his shoulder. It wasn’t a pretty story. “I’m sorry for that. And thought that’s a terrible example, you understood my point it seems.”

He looked at the ceiling, trying to will his tears away. “Thanks for listening, Belle. I’d talk to papa, but he’s sometimes so oblivious to the changes in himself.”

“Maybe you should tell him about the changes if he doesn’t notice them himself?” she suggested. He smiled with his teary eyes. “I think I will try that.”

“In the morning,” she said. “You really need sleep now, so off with you.”

“Goodnight, Belle.”

“Goodnight,” she echoed.

*

Rumplestiltskin was spinning straw into gold like he usually did. Bae watched him for a moment, not wanting to disturb him. He looked so much like he used to then, concentrated on his task. It helped Bae gather his courage.

"Papa?"

He looked up, smiling slightly.

"Yes, my boy?"

Bae bit his lip and sat next to him.

“You’re different now. You see it, don’t you?” he inquired.

Rumple looked away.

“Papa?”

Rumplestiltskin got up and paced around the great hall.

“I suppose. But I do what I have to do to protect you,” he tried to explain.

“I wouldn’t need protecting if you didn’t have power.”

“Well, I can’t get rid of it.”

“Have you tried?”

“Tried,” he chuckled. He ran his hand through his hair – one of many nervous gestures he had. “If someone kills me with the dagger, then they gain the power. Now you know that, Bae. Is that what you want?”

Bae sighed. Papa was always so dramatic, even before. And afraid of his own shadow. Bae always wondered what happened to him that made him so scared, but never knew how to ask.

“That’s not what I want. I just think there might be other ways to get rid of the power."

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Rumple warned him gently.

“I just want my father back,” he pleaded. His papa looked at him and smiled sadly.

“All I want is your happiness, Bae.”

Bae smiled back at him. His papa was there, he could see it now. It made him feel a bit guilty for not seeing it before.

“So if I find a way – a way that doesn’t kill you or hurt me, will you do it?”

“I will,” he promised and went back to the wheel. Bae extended his hand to him.

After a moment, he grasped it.

“The deal is struck,” Bae beamed.

“Struck,” his father echoed.

All will be well then. After all, his papa never breaks a deal.


	5. Something there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which light and darkness collide

The dark castle was really nice, Belle thought as she sat on the window sill in her room. Before she even realized, it started to feel like home. She didn’t feel at home since her mother died. She may have lived in the same castle she grew up with, but without mama it just didn’t feel the same. And here she was in another castle, living with The Dark One for only a month and it was home to her.

But it was, well, dark.

When she asked Rumplestiltskin about the lack of light he mumbled something like ‘it’s called the dark castle for a reason’, but Belle refused to live in the shadows like he wanted her to. It was almost spring for goodness’ sake! And yet all the curtains stayed firmly closed. She opened the ones in her room, but that wasn’t enough.

Now, she will open the ones in the great hall, whatever Rumplestiltskin thinks about it.

He said he liked the castle just the way it was. He basked in the darkness like a cat does in sunlight. But the reality was always a little different then what he said. He was fond of the dark, but he also seemed so sad in it. She didn't like the effect it had on him and on Bae and her for that matter. They all needed a bit of light in their lives.

So she dragged the tallest ladder she could find and set to work. Rumplestiltskin was spinning like always, so absorbed in what he was doing he didn't notice her walk in. In was fascinating how concentrated he was. He looked peaceful for once, but there was a weight on his shoulders preventing him from truly enjoying his favorite pastime.

"Why do you spin so much?"

Rumplestiltskin stopped spinning for a moment, turning to her.

"I'm sorry it's just that you've spun straw into more gold than you could ever spend."

When she was exploring the castle with Baelfire they found rooms full of gold thread and dust. He resumed spinning, although not quite so concentrated as before.

"I like to watch the wheel," he admitted. "Helps me forget."

Does he have a lot to forget? The sadness that clung to him, the way he hid in the shadows even in his own home…It made sense he needed to spin this much.

“Forget what?” she inquired.

She knew she shouldn’t pry, but he was being honest with her for once. She couldn’t let that opportunity go, she was too curious.

He paused in confusion for a moment and then spoke.

"I guessed it worked," he giggled and turned to her.

Belle couldn’t help but join his laugh. He was so silly sometimes, that it almost made her forget the pain she saw in him. Almost.

She tugged on the curtains, but they stayed where they were.

"What _are_ you doing?" He asked as he walked to her in his catlike grace.

"Opening these. It's almost spring, we should let some light in."

She tugged again with no luck. Why weren’t they moving?

"What did you do, nail them down?"

"Yes," he answered, like it was obvious. Because it’s absolutely normal to nail curtains down and she should’ve seen it coming.

She rolls her eyes at him. Silly man.

She continued tugging when the curtains gave a satisfactory rip. But Belle was leaning on them as they fell and lost her balance.

And she fell with them.

There was no time to think as she was falling down. She anticipated the hard stone floor shattering her bones so she was surprised when she collided with something soft. Strong arms caught her midair and held her tight.

Rumplestiltskin caught her.

He saved her. He caught her falling and he saved her.

Light was streaming into the great hall, illuminating Rumplestiltskin. She never saw him this up close, much less in so much light. His skin sparkled in it a bit and she couldn’t tear her eyes from him. He was quite handsome like this. And the way he was holding her.

He stared at the window in confusion and then looked down at her. Their eyes met and for a moment the world stood still.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

And with that the moment is broken. Rumplestiltskin almost drops her in his haste to put her down on her wobbly legs.

"Thank you," she repeated and stepped closer to him, unwilling to lose their closeness. Rumple quickly held up his hands and awkwardly stepped back, before she had a chance to embrace him. She awkwardly dusted of her dress, missing the warmth of his arms around her.

"It's no matter.”

He began to walk away.

"I, um, I'll put the curtains back up.”

"Uh. There’s no need,” he stopped her. “I'll get used to it."

Rumple walked back to his wheel while she watched him retreat with a smile.

*

Rumple was spinning, but he couldn’t concentrate. His thoughts kept turning back to Belle.

Silly girl, climbing ladders on high heels. He should give her safer shoes. He was no longer afraid of heights, rationally knowing they're of no danger to him, but he was still aware what they can do to mortals.

She could’ve died if he wasn’t there and yet she smiled so much.

The voice in his head that retreated mysteriously while he held her came back with a vengeance. It kept taunting him how beautiful she was in the light and how he looked even more like a beast next to her.

He couldn’t ignore him. After all, he was right.

She looked like an angel in the light. He couldn’t deprive her of it, she belonged in it. He so wished he could be there with her, but he belonged in the dark shadowy corners. But he could endure a bit of sunlight for her and Bae.

And if he was honest with himself it wasn’t just that. It wasn’t just being close to her. The light felt good. Like a weight was lifted of his shoulders, his pain being washed away. Like he belonged for a second before he realized he was a creature of the darkness admiring a creature of light.

Like any good feeling, it hurt when it stopped. Knowing how it felt to hold her, forgetting he was a monster and not being able to hold onto those feelings was terrible.

But he'd happily burn for eternity just to feel it for a few more seconds.

*

Baelfire was almost happy.

At first he thought with Belle looking after him his papa would be gone even more. But by the time papa trusted Belle enough to leave them alone, he took a liking to her, even if he pretended otherwise.

Now he left only when summoned. He tried his best not to hurt anyone. He never hurt Belle like Bae feared. In fact he saved her life.

It was almost like it used to be before. Almost.

Bae never forgot about his quest to break papa’s curse, even if they were momentarily content. His search didn’t yield much so far, but he was confident he could find a way.

But in meantime he enjoyed his father’s good mood.

He was aware that the changes in papa were thanks to Belle. She wasn't afraid of him and challenged him.

It wasn't hard to notice papa was falling in love.

Bae was overjoyed at that reveal.For so long it was just the two of them. It would be amazing if their small family gained another member. It already felt like she was a part of it.

Belle, seeing no reason to stay in when the weather was so nice, moved their lessons outside now. His papa, naturally, started making excuses to be out in the garden with them. He fooled no one, but he still tried. It was actually quite entertaining.

He actually started tending to the garden to justify his presence, of all things. He began to hate sunlight when he became The Dark One, but now he happily endured it, watching Belle with a dazed look.

The garden was no longer a wasteland. He grew herbs for his potions and pretty flowers for Belle.

And right now while Bae was reading, Belle pretended to be paying attention to his progress while watching papa tend to the roses.

Bae knew papa only planted them because Belle let it slip she loved roses most of all flowers. He was only hair's width away from behaving like a smitten puppy, wagging his tail at the sight of his beloved. He'd It was a good thing he didn’t have a tail.

It was strange to see his father like this, in love. He seemed lighter, the light shining through the darkness his curse brought.

He smiled, laughed and thought it didn't save him, it helped. Belle was kind and that was something Rumplestiltskin needed. Especially now.

“Papa would love your company, you know,” he told Belle, who tore her dopey gaze from papa.

She blushed. "Um, would he?"

Bae resisted the urge to laugh. Adult weren’t always as wise as they should be.

"Yes. I'll be fine on my own. Go."

She smiled and hurried of.

They weren’t aware of their feelings yet and that was fine with Bae as long as they do realize someday.

*

Gardening was surprisingly nice. He had a small vegetable garden back when he was human, but he never had the recourses for ornamentals. But now he could plant whatever he wanted. And his efforts were starting to pay off now, as his flowers started to bloom.

He was kneeling next to the rosebushes, weeding.

“The garden’s turning out rather nicely.”

He shriek, startled by Belle’s sudden presence. She smirked triumphantly. He liked to spook her from time to time and apparently she was waiting for revenge.

_Did you just let that slip of a girl startle you? You sure you’re The Dark One?_

“It is indeed.”

“Do you need any help?” she asked, sitting next to him.

The thought of spending more time with her warmed him, but it wasn’t very wise. He was already getting way too attached to her.

“Don’t you have work to do?” he snapped rather rudely.

She flinched visible and turned to leave.

“Wouldn’t kill you to be polite sometimes,” she muttered angrily.

_Yes, that’s it. She won’t fear us, but we can still make her hate us._

He sighed. He was mad at himself for not treating her better, but he was trying to push her away, he can’t be considerate to her feelings.

He watched her back, her shoulders hunched in disappointment. Ah, to hell with it. He cut a rose from the bush and ran to her.

He tapped her shoulder awkwardly. She turned to him, her eyebrow raised.

“Here,” he held the rose out to her, not sure she’d take it. “If you’ll have it.”

Red roses were her favorite, but he was rude to her and she probably wants nothing from him.

“You know, to brighten your room,” he added when she didn’t respond.

Belle smiled enchantingly. “Why thank you.”

She curtsied and he bowed in turn.

“I’ll go find a vase,” she beamed and went back to the castle.

He flickered his fingers to make sure she’ll find the pretty vase he dealt for last month.

 _You were trying to push you away, you idiot! Stop being such a lovesick fool, spinner. I don’t have time for this,_ the voice complained.

Rumplestiltskin stumbled over his own feet in shock.

 _I’m not in love,_ he protested.

 _You better not be_ ,he sneered _. No love in store for The Dark One. It’s enough I have to tolerate that brat of yours._

 _Shut up!_ Rumple yelled inwardly. His head was starting to hurt.

_It would be easy to get rid of him, you know that. And it would make everything simpler._

_I won’t let you touch my son,_ Rumple threatened.

 _You won’t be able to keep me at bay forever,_ he predicted. _And then good luck protecting your little bastard._

Rumple shivered in fear. So that’s what the voice was. It was The Dark One. He never would’ve thought it was sentient, but it made sense. It kept whispering dark things in his ear, suggesting he hurts someone.

The curse was much more complicated than he thought.

 _Well if I can’t make the girl fear me, I’ll settle for the spinner,_ The Dark One laughed. _Not that’s such a big accomplishment, making a coward fear something, but it’s still a nice feeling._

 _You wouldn’t know a nice feeling if it hit you in the face,_ he snorted, feeling disgusted.

_Nice feeling? You mean like when you held her? You could hold her again if you weren’t such a chicken. Or better yet, you could leave her to me. I’d show you a nice feeling._

_You stay the fuck away from her, you sick monster!_

_As I said, you have the upper hand for now, and I have to listen to you. But not for long. Keep that in mind, spinner._

Rumple teleported into his tower and sat at the wheel. His head was pounding, but that was nothing compared to his tremor. He wasn’t just a demon; he had a demon inside himself. A demon that was determined to hurt those he lo-cares about.

Because there’s no denying he cares about Belle, but it can’t be anything more than that. She’s already in danger because of him.

Oh, he so hoped Bae would find another way to break the curse, because otherwise they’re all doomed.

*

Rumplestiltskin was acting like she didn’t matter and then changed his manner completely and gave her a rose. To brighten her room, he said.

Some monster he turned out to be.

Belle snorted at the thought. A monster doesn’t take his tea with three lumps of sugar. Monster doesn’t grow flowers to give to his employee.

No, Rumplestiltskin wasn’t a monster. He might be The Dark One, but he was only a man.

And whether she liked it or not, she liked him. He was shy and sweet and she was happy to call him a friend. And that was all he was. Because human or no, she can’t afford the heartbreak of losing her heart to The Dark One. No matter the outcome, it can’t end well for them.

So she’ll do her best to keep her heart safe while keeping his friendship. It won’t be easy, not with the way her heart raced when she saw him, but it was necessary. He could never care about her in that way.

And even if he could, it would never work with his secrecy and unwillingness to be honest with her, much less trust her.

*

Bae was losing his initial optimism. All he could find about The Dark One was folklore. The kind of tales parents scared their children with. They weren’t very helpful. He needed to know how to get rid of the curse, not how The Dark One hunts children for their pelts. Not that papa would do that.

He slammed the book he was reading on the table. This was a waste of time. He needed a different approach.

“What did the book do to you?

Bae turned around to find Belle watching him with an amused expression.

“I, uh,” he stammered. “It says terrible things about papa.”

Belle nodded in understanding. “The tales about The Dark One. They’re quite gruesome.”

“Papa’s not like that.”

But there was no denying he was different from the kind spinner he used to be. Bae needed to help him.

“I noticed.”

An idea formed in his head. Belle was smart. He could bet she could read books in different languages. She valued knowledge above everything. So maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to ask her to help him.

“Belle? Could you maybe help me with something?”

“Sure.”

He stopped himself before he told her everything. He couldn’t do that. Papa wanted him to keep those things a secret and he still didn’t trust Belle.

“I’m looking for ways to break a curse,” he admitted. It was vague enough that papa could keep his secret and specific enough so Belle could help.

“Is something wrong?” she inquired, worrying.

“No!” he responded quickly. Maybe too quickly. “No. I just need you to help me with that. It’s important.”

She didn’t quite like that kind of answer, he could see that, but she didn’t argue.

“Alright. I’ll help you in any way I can. I wish you would tell me what the problem is, thought.”

Bae sighed. “I can’t. I promised. But you don’t have to worry, really,” he tried to convince her.

That satisfied her curiosity, at least for the moment. She’ll want to know later, there was no getting around that. But she agreed and that was all Baelfire needed at the moment. Just a little help with the responsibility he had. Sure, his papa didn’t believe he could find a way, but he needed to be free of the curse.

Bae couldn’t fail. It was simply too important. He won’t let his papa down like everyone before him did. He took the curse for him. It was Bae’s mess to clean and he was prepared to do it, whatever it takes.


	6. Delicate flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which someone gets hurt and trust builds

Rumple was standing outside of the library, rubbing his hands. He wanted to spend time with Bae and Belle, but he wasn’t sure he’d be welcome. They never threw him out before, but he didn’t want to disturb them.

_Just go in, you coward._

And that was another reason he couldn’t decide. It wasn’t exactly safe for them. He had a firm hold on the demon, but what if he screws up? He can’t afford hurting them.

_It will happen. You won’t be able to stop it. Everyone gives in to the darkness eventually._

Ignoring the voice was getting harder. He snuck in to his thoughts at all times, even in sleep. Rumplestiltskin was used to not being able to sleep much, partly because of his frequent nightmares. But those nightmares weren’t abstract, or memories of the past. Those were possibilities, thing that could – _would_ – happen.

He turned around, going to spin. It’s no matter. He’ll still see them during supper. Maybe he won’t be able to be with them as much as he’d like, but it’s the price of protecting them. One he’ll gladly pay.

*

Rumplestiltskin was avoiding her. She could live with that. It stung a little, but it wasn’t all that hard to cope with. But he was avoiding his son as well and Belle wouldn’t stand for that. Everything was going so well, why did he have to run?

Bae decided they would read in the great hall, knowing how much his father loved listening to her reading out loud. So here they were, sitting on the settee, while The Dark One spun and ignored them. As difficult to believe it was, he looked even sadder than usual.

Not that she was watching him. It was just a simple observation. Something was bothering him. But she couldn’t help him if he wouldn’t talk to her. She’s not a bloody mind reader.

He probably doesn’t want her help anyway. Why should he? He was the most powerful sorcerer in all the realms (Or at least, that’s what they said about him. She never saw him do something really powerful and the other tales were all false, so maybe he isn’t as powerful as she thinks him to be.), he doesn’t have to consult her. She was just a girl who has lived a very sheltered life and knew only what she read in her books.

Even if she was the only other adult in the castle and he probably didn’t have many people who liked him outside of it. But he chose to wear his burden alone and even thought she ached to help him, if doesn’t wish her to help him, she won’t.

But when he stop spinning and yelped out in pain, clutching his head in his hands, she couldn’t pretend not to notice.

“Papa!” Bae squeaked in surprise. “Are you alright?” He was at his side in a blink, reaching for his trembling hand. Belle watched from where she was, unable to move.

“I’m fine, Bae. Someone’s summoning me, you don’t have to worry about it,” he gasped out weakly.

“It hurts you when someone summons you?” she whispered. That was horrifying. He looked at her, his face pale, his eyes burning with pain.

“Just when I ignore it,” he explained and turned to Baelfire. “I have to go. Will you be alright?”

“Of course, papa. Will you?” he asked. He was absolutely serious, but Rumplestiltskin just smiled and ruffled his hair.

“Of course, son.” He hugged Bae and then glanced at her briefly before averting his eyes again.

“Keep an eye on him, would you?” he requested. He always did, although nothing ever happened to Bae, except a few knee scraps he would’ve been swift to heal if it wasn’t against Bae’s wishes.

“I will,” she promised, just like she always did, because even if he’s just being paranoid, he was a parent worried about his child and she couldn’t let him down.

He nodded and then vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

Bae stared at the spot he vanished from, biting his lip.

“Do you think he’ll be fine?” he asked her.

“Oh, I’m sure he will be,” a voice behind them spoke. Belle turned around to see the woman who kidnapped her – Rumplestiltskin had called her Maleficent - standing next to the spinning wheel. “But you won’t. “

Before Belle could say anything there was smoke and then the woman was gone.

In her place stood a dragon.

An actual dragon.

“Bae. Run,” she commanded and Bae sprinted for the door. She ran after him, but something knocked her down. The dragon was standing above her.

“Hey!” Bae shouted and threw a book at it. The dragon roared, going after him. Belle scrambled to her feet. The dragon had Baelfire cornered. Belle looked around for a weapon, but she found none. So she jumped on Maleficent’s tail.

The beast turned to her and opened her mouth and Belle could feel the temperature rising. She didn’t think, she just grabbed Bae’s hand and rushed to the door as the dragon breathed fire at them. She missed, but the furniture was starting to burn.

The door was heavy now that Rumple’s magic wasn’t opening it for them automatically. She held it open for Bae to slip away, but before she could leave, too, the dragon pushed her away and then the door was burning.

There was no way out.

At least Bae got away, she thought as she made a run for the windows, but the dragon was there before she was and soon there were flames everywhere. The heat was unbearable. She could no longer see the dragon, only the fire. She tried to move, but there wasn’t any place. Just fire and smoke.

The smoke filled her lungs and she coughed violently. She had to get away. The flames were getting closer to her skin and it hurt terribly. The smoke was getting into her head and made it difficult to think. She had to…leave…quick…run…

Her head hit the burning ground as she fell unconscious.

*

He was circling around the desperate soul who summoned him. She was trembling in fear. He intended to keep it that way. He didn’t want to deal that day, but he had to come. That doesn’t mean he had to be civil.

“So what exactly is it you want, dearie?” he smirked. “And what are you-“

 _Rumplestiltskin_ , his son called.

He was at Bae’s side immediately. He was standing in front of the castle, which was being devoured by flames. He gripped Bae’s shoulders, examining him, but he was fine, except for few minor burns that could wait.

“Belle’s inside,” he sobbed.

Rumple stared at him in horror and then broke into a run. He didn’t pay any mind to the flames – he was immortal after all – as he searched the burning castle for Belle. He tried to extinguish the fire, but it was made by magic and he couldn’t stop it. Finally he saw her, a figure crumpled on the floor.

He took of his dragon hide coat, extinguishing the flame that was licking at her skin through her burning skirt. The coat, because it was made from dragon skin repelled fire and stopped any further damage. He wrapped her in it and carried her out of the castle.

He laid her on the grass next to Bae. She was unconscious and her skin was badly burned. With magic hopefully none of the damage would be permanent.

“Is she alive?” Bae gulped.

“Yes, Bae. Don’t worry. She’s going to be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Maleficent asked.

He glared at her. How can she just come to him, after what she just did?!

_Kill her._

“Yes,” he snarled. “And in the meantime - what’s stopping me from killing you for what you did?”

She smiled and he longed to crush her bones. “You can’t heal your little wench without magic. And even your magic can’t heal everything. You’ll need potions, tools and while you have all of that, it’s in the castle that’s burning to the ground.”

He hated it, but she was right. He didn’t learn that much of healing magic and raw power won’t suffice. This wasn’t even a regular fire, like the one this reminded him of so much.

“What do you propose?” he asked, defeated.

“I stop the fire and take the gauntlet – the real one this time – and you won’t hurt me for what I’ve done.”

He sighed. There wasn’t much to consider. He needed to get to the castle to heal Belle. He didn’t really have a choice.

“Deal.”

Then the flames were gone like they were never there and so was Maleficent. Rumple picked Belle up again, cradling her close as he carried her back to the castle.

“Will she really be alright, papa?” Bae inquired nervously, trailing after him.

“She will,” he replied, trying to convince both Bae and himself of it. He’ll do everything in his power to make sure she will be alright. He already placed a stasis spell on her, making sure she doesn’t get worse before he even has a chance to make it better.

They entered the great hall and Rumplestiltskin stared at the mess. Half the furniture was burned to ashes, including his spinning wheel and there were scorch marks everywhere.

“What exactly happened here?” he asked, stepping over burned wood as he made his way to the laboratory.

“That woman came and turned into a dragon. She attacked us. Belle got me out, but then the door was on fire and she couldn’t get out,” he summarized.

“She saved you?” Rumple asked in awe.

“Yeah,” Bae nodded.

Belle saved his son, although it almost killed her. If he wasn’t in awe of her before he definitely was now. He magicked a bed to the laboratory and put her on it. He gathered ointments, bandages and potions, anything that could help. Bae assisted him as they tended to her wounds. He didn’t bother to heal the superficial burns, saving energy for healing the deeper burns. Even with their best efforts it would still take time for her to heal completely. He sent Bae to bed, continuing with the procedures.

Now that Bae was no longer present he stop hiding the tremor, the worry he had. In a week or two she’ll be alright. She might have some scars, but she won’t be in pain for long, he owed that to her. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t worry. Gods, what if she hit her head badly when she fell? What if she can’t wake up?

He tried to hold himself together. After all, there was no time to worry. He had to heal her and then repair the great hall and do something with the inefficient ward around the castle’s grounds. And then he can curl into a ball in his bed and cry in worry about Belle’s life.

*

Belle’s first thought upon waking up was that there’s no way she’s dead if her skin hurts this much. She opened her eyes experimentally, finding herself lying on a soft bed in Rumplestiltskin’s tower. He was standing nearby, nervously mixing condiments in a small cauldron.

“Hey,” she spoke, her voice husky from her scratchy throat.

His head snapped up to look at her and he was by her side in a blink. "Belle! You're awake!" His smile lit up the room and he dropped in knee beside her. "How are you feeling?"

"Everything hurts, but otherwise I’m fine,” she replied. “Is Bae alright?”

He laughed and that was all the answer she needed, because he definitely wouldn’t be happy if he wasn’t. “Yes he’s alright. He'll be pleased to see you awake."

He paused, looking down and then glancing at her, smiling softly.

“He only had few minor burns, he didn’t even let me heal them. You, uh,” he cleared his throat. “You weren’t quite so lucky. You’ll have to stay in bed for at least a week and you’ll have some scars.”

He looked down again, rubbing his hands nervously.

“Thank you,” he whispered eventually.

“What do you mean?” she asked, confused.

“You saved my boy’s life.”

“Well, I told you I’ll keep an eye on him. And I didn’t save, I just got him out,” she blushed. “Anyone would do that.”

“Oh, trust me, not anyone.”

She was feeling slightly awkward. She always wanted to be a hero, but it was strange to have someone thank her for helping a child get away from a fire. And yet he was watching her with such a look of awe she had to look away.

“I am indebted to you,” he said, serious. “I owe you more than I can ever repay, but I can try to repay it somehow.”

“You saved me,” she argued. “And it wasn’t the first time you did, either. I think we’re even.”

“I was in no danger when I went for you, but you could’ve died.”

“Don’t tell me you’re fireproof,” she scoffed. He just continued to stare at her. “You are?!”

“Not exactly. But my body heals automatically and I wouldn’t have felt any pain.”

Belle sighed. “Well, never mind. I don’t need your favor anyway.”

He tilted his head. “A favor from The Dark One can come in handy.”

She shrugged and immediately winced in pain. “I don’t need anything.”

He stared at her for a moment and then shrugged too.

"Are you hungry?” he asked then.

Her stomach rumbled. “Now that you mention it I am.”

He chuckled. "Stay here, I'll bring you something. And I’ll tell Bae. He'd love to see you. Don't get up, you're still recovering."

She waited for a while, examining her wounds. She had bandages everywhere. She could barely move. To her surprise she was still wearing the simple green dress she was wearing when the fire happened, even thought pieces of it were burned or cut off for better access to her wounds. She was glad Rumple didn’t look at her while she was unconscious – not that she thought he would - , but you’d think he’d magic her into a nightgown or something.

“Belle!” Bae called as he ran into the lab. She giggled. “I’m so glad you’re alright! We were so worried!”

Belle tried not to care about the ‘we’, but she failed. “We?” she questioned.

He smiled knowingly. “Yeah. Papa was pretty worried, even if he tried to hide it. He’ll probably go overboard with taking care of you, just so you know. He’s a bit of a mother hen.”

She giggled. The Dark One is a mother hen. It sounded so silly, although he was so much more than just The Dark One. He was a very complicated man. He…he was a mystery.

One she planned to uncover.

*

 _Stop fretting about the girl, spinner,_ The Dark One demanded. _She’s alive, you can let it go now._

Rumple sighed. The Dark One was bothered about him saving Belle the whole time, but waited until she was awake to actually say something.

_No. I can’t. She’s still hurt._

_Who cares?_

_I do!_

He hit the side of his head. He always got a headache from trying to argue with him. But he won’t listen to him talking about Belle like she doesn’t matter and do nothing about it. Belle was kind and brave. She didn’t deserved to be treated whatever way The Dark One wanted to treat her.

 _Maybe I should warn her about him,_ he thought. _She has a right to know and it’s not like she can tell anyone._

_I know you had feelings for her, but don’t tell me you trust her._

_And what if I do?_

Trusting was always hard for Rumplestiltskin and being possessed by The Dark One probably made it worse. But Belle saved Bae’s life. It felt to him like she earned his trust.

_You can’t be serious. She’s just playing her so you let her go._

_No. I told her I owe her and she didn’t want anything from me. She didn’t have to save Bae, but she did._

_So she’s a hero. One more reason not to trust her._

_Exactly. She’s a hero. She wouldn’t betray me, even if I’m a villain._

_You’re insane. If she knew you – all of you – she would never accept her. And she definitely won’t ever love you, so stop your foolish daydreaming._


	7. We all have our scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Belle and Rumple help each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I'm sorry I didn't update last week, but I was really busy. Trigger warning for self harm in this chapter.

The Dark One didn't feel pain.

He couldn’t. It was impossible.

Rumplestiltskin experimented, first out of curiosity that later turned into something else. But physical pain was beyond the realm of possibility for him.

It was a relief, after years of being in constant pain. It was another perk of being The Dark One and they were piling up. The only downside was Bae’s distrust of him, but he’ll earn it back in no time. Being The Dark One was better than being a cowardly spinner in every aspect.

And yet. There were things even The Dark One couldn’t have.

He paid the price of not being human. He never thought he’d complain about something like that. He was immortal. He had endless magic at his fingertips. He could spin straw into gold.

But for some unexplainable reason, he longed to be human.

Being human was messy and hard and beautiful and full of pain and he wanted to feel it again. He could barely feel anything now. He felt his love for Bae and the need to protect him, but not much beyond that. Just anger, the rage. And emptiness.

So he looked for something to fill this emptiness with. Magic didn’t work. Nor did hurting others. It would’ve been much easier spending time with Bae if he didn’t despise a part of him now. And then it occurred to him.

If he wanted to feel human so bad, why not try pain? It would remind him just how horrible human life is and how grateful he should be to be above it now. So his experiments continued. Rumple got more and more reckless as no pain showed and he still haven’t found what he was looking for.

He 'accidentally' cut himself while cooking. His hand bled for a moment, but it didn't hurt. He stuck his hand into fire in the fireplace when Bae went to fetch tea. Nothing. He tried to drown himself in his bath. He gave up after half an hour. As a last resort, he jumped off a cliff. His body healed itself in a couple of minutes. He didn’t even have a scar.

Nothing worked.

And then he remembered the knife.

It could kill him. Surely it could inflict pain.

He felt fear for the first time since becoming The Dark One. What if he really hurts himself? He can’t leave Bae alone.

But that sliver of fear only made him remember why he was doing this. So he can lie to himself and pretend he’s not dead inside.

So the sorcerer locked himself in his tower and summoned the dagger from the vault he put it in for safekeeping. For a long time he just stared at it. But the need to feel something was stronger than his fear.

He pressed it to his wrist and slide across the skin. He could feel the sharp sting of pain accompanied by red blood pouring out of the wound.

Rumplestiltskin smiled. Oh, he could feel that. It hurt, but oh, so nicely.

The blood was mesmerizing to watch, the red against his ugly skin. Yes, this is exactly what he needed.

He felt human for a short moment and that was worth the suffering.

*

"I'm fine, Rumple, really. I appreciate your help, but I feel alright now."

Belle was getting tired of arguing with The Dark One. He kept taking care of her and while she didn’t mind she wasn't that helpless. He should've let her do things on her own by now. She just wanted him to be her friend for a while, not to act like she’s made out of china.

Rumplestiltskin pouted. "But it will take a few more days for you to heal. You've been through a lot. You should stay in bed."

Belle sighed. It was impossible to win an argument with him like this. Sure, she knew a way she could win. If she told him she didn't want him to take care of her he'll leave. But she didn't want to hurt him. It would've been a lie, anyway. He was just a little overbearing. She could live with that.

"Alright. I'll stay in bed," she complied. "But I'm bored."

“I could bring you a book,” he suggested.

“That’s a good idea,” she agreed with a playful smirk. “But I’ve got a better one.”

“Oh?”

“How about you read something to me?”

While she loved books more than anything at the moment she just wanted to be near him. And if it’s necessary to make him read to her to achieve that, then that’s what she’ll do.

“Oh. I could do that. If you wish it.”

“I do,” she smiled.”

“Alright then,” he returned her smile.

*

Rumple finally let her leave the bed. It was nice to be allowed to walk on her own feet. After a much needed bath – Rumple was too embarrassed to bathe her himself, so he simply kept her clean with magic – she dressed herself in a robe and walked to the covered mirror in her room.

She wasn’t sure why Rumplestiltskin covered the mirrors. They probably made him uncomfortable. Belle quite liked his scaly skin, but he always talked about himself in such an awful way he couldn’t be happy about them.

But she needed to look. She knew she had scars. She even saw some in the bath, but she needed to know just how bad it was.

She dragged the cover of the full-length mirror.

She stared at herself for a moment.

Her hair was shorter, but evenly cut, thanks to Rumple, but was the least of her problems. She took of the robe to see the rest of her skin better and flinched.

One smaller scar was on her left ankle, the other on her right forearm. But those were the small ones. The worst one was starting on her cheek, continuing on her neck and ending on her shoulder. It was healed nicely and it didn’t really hurt anymore, but she still disliked the sight of it. She saw a lot of people with scars and long-term injuries during the ogre wars, but she also knew how they were treated. Like they were ruined.

Belle knew it shouldn’t be a problem, living at the dark castle. There was just Bae and Rumple. Both of them were too grateful that she and Bae were alive to treat her any differently. Not to mention Bae had a scar on his arm as well.

But she couldn’t help but feel sad that her beauty was destroyed. Belle wasn’t a particularly vain woman, but she knew her beauty was the only thing people ever spoke highly of. They didn’t care if she was smart, or brave or anything else. Especially men.

Books may have talked about love and marriage in a much nicer way, but she heard knights talking about women more than once. She was ruined now, no one will ever want her now. It shouldn’t matter. She will spend an eternity here. There was no one.

No one but Rumple.

And that was the problem. She tried to keep her treacherous heart from beating faster every time she was near him, but it didn’t listen. She liked him, more than she should. And even if he by some miracle liked her in that way before, there’s no way he’ll like her now.

*

Cutting became a habit of sorts after he first tried it. He made sure Bae never found out and used glamour to hide the scars when he was around him. When he was alone, though, it was soothing seeing them. His unnatural scales marred by something real.

He felt much better, for the first few months. He didn’t want to hurt other so much now that he was hurting himself and that pleased Bae greatly. He could feel things much stronger, which wasn’t always good. But that was being human, wasn’t it? It hurt but it was all worth it. He can’t go back to it, not that he would wasn’t to, but it was nice to have a taste of it.

But lately he realized the pain wasn't quite so good. He could remember other feeling he wanted to feel, ones that were much more pleasant. He just wanted to be with Bae. And Belle. The people he cared about. That felt better than anything else he could think of, even if it was muddled by The Dark One screaming at him to stop.

But he didn't have the strength to stop. He deserved the pain, anyway. He didn’t deserve to love – to be loved. He should suffer for everything he’s done and hasn’t done and everything in between.

He only vaguely registered he was crying. It was either pain or emptiness. None of that was what he wanted. He just wanted to be happy.

"Rumple, I brought you tea!"

Belle came in, smiling like sunshine itself. She brought light everywhere she went. It never faded in the shadows of his castle, on the opposite, it shone even brighter. But it was never bright enough to shine at him.

He looked up from where he was sitting at the ground, the dagger still tightly gripped in his hand.

Belle dropped the tea tray in shock. The china shattered as it fell to the ground. She was staring at him, mouth opened.

He looked down, not knowing how to deal with the situation and lacking the strength to do anything.

She stepped over the broken china and walked to him.

"Rumple, what happened?" she whispered gently, crouching next to him.

"I wanted to feel human," his voice broke as he answered her question.

She wiped the tears from his cheek, caressing it lightly. He leaned into the touch, needing it, needing _her_ , more than anything at the moment.

She wrapped her hand around his right one.

"Please put the knife down.”

His whole body tensed up. Not bloody likely to happen. He wouldn't let anyone have it. He will never be anyone's puppet. He trusted Belle, he really did, but this was something beyond trust.

_Protect the dagger. At all cost._

He shook his head frantically.

"You can't have it."

Belle ran her hand through his hair. "I don't want it, Rumple, I just want you to put it away."

She...didn't want it? How could she not want it? No one was immune to its call. Everyone wanted its power. Of course, she didn't know the significance of it, so that is most likely the reason. Not that he was going to tell her. She shouldn't have even seen it.

_Protect the dagger. Kill her!_

_No!_

He vanished the Kris dagger back to its rightful place in the vault.

"There you go. No we're going to take care of the cut, okay? I know it hurts, but I'm here. It's going to be alright. Now be nice and wait for me here. Where do you keep your bandages and ointments?"

He waved his hand and a box of health products appeared. He was on low supply because of her burns, but it’ll do.

"Oh, thank you."

Belle began cleaning the wound with skilled hands. She poured whiskey on a piece of fabric, pressing it to his wound. He hissed at the sting.

"You've done this before," he stated, hoping talking to her will distract him from pain and other, less pleasant, thoughts. "Where did a lady learn to tend wounds?"

She sighed and looked away. He waited patiently until she met his gaze again. "The ogre wars had taken their toll. I wanted to help. In those times title shouldn’t really matter. They didn't let me see the more gruesome injuries, trying to preserve my innocence, I suppose, but they let me help with the smaller wounds. Papa didn’t want to let me do it, but mama talked him into it. We needed all the help we could get."

Such a kind and caring noble. He remembered how the duke of the Frontlands cared for his subjects. If he lived under her rule during the ogre wars, things would've been much different.

She started to apply bandages.

"But if you thought you could distract me from the matter at hand you are sorely mistaken."

He blushed a bit. "It wasn't to distract you. I really wanted to know.”

She finished his dressings and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Please, Rumple, don't do it. Don't hurt yourself,” she pleaded.

He never had someone taking care of him, not since his aunts died. It was a very strange feeling, thought not unpleasant. Just unexpected. He didn’t really believe it was happening.

"Why does it matter?” he asked, slightly confused about her worry. “I'm immortal."

She breathed in sharply.

“It matters to me. I don’t want you to be in pain.”

_She’s lying._

“Why do you care?”

“Because you’re my friend.”

He stared at her.

Friend?

He had a friend?

She actually cared about him? Not like he cared about her, of course not, but she cared? How was that possible?

“I’ve never had a friend,” he whispered.

“Never?” she asked in disbelief.

“Never.”

She petted his hair and oh, that felt nice. He was so very grateful for her presence in his life. Her friendship was more than he deserved, but he was so glad he had it.

“Well, now you do,” she smiled at him awkwardly. “So can you please promise me you won’t do that again?”

Her eyes were boring into his soul and he couldn’t deny her. Right now he couldn’t deny her anything.

“I promise.”

After all, he got what he wanted, didn’t he? When she was near he could feel. Feel so many wonderful confusing things.

*

“Good.”

She looked down at his arm, running her finger over his scars. She never saw him with his sleeves rolled up, so she didn’t notice the cuts all over his left forearm. Maybe she wasn’t the only one ruined here.

“Could you heal yourself?”

He shook his head. “No. I, um, I used a special blade. It’s the only thing that can permanently hurt me.”

Oh, that made sense. “That’s why you didn’t want to give it to me? You were scared I’d hurt you?”

He opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I..”

“It’s okay.” It was obvious why he was so protective of the dagger. It may hurt a little, that he didn’t trust her, but it didn’t matter.

“I trust you, Belle, but…Things like that are best kept hidden from everyone.”

“I said it was okay, Rumple. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“I know,” he smiled boyishly. “But I wanted to.”

She smiled back at him. It was nice to know he trusted her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and after a moment he put an arm around her. His fingers ghosted over her scar.

“Rumple?” she interrupted the silence. Her voice was shaking.

“What is it?” he asked, worried.

“I, um. Could you… could you heal my scars?”

Belle could feel his eyes watching her, but she kept her own eyes down, not wanting to look at him.

“No. Wounds from dragon fire are difficult to heal. I did all I could. Why are you asking?”

She sighed. So he couldn’t do that. She didn’t think he could.

“I just…I guess I have a hard time accepting that I’m ruined.”

“Belle,” he choked out. His shaking hand reached for her chin and he tilted her head so she would be looking at him. “You are _not_ ruined.”

“Really? If I was back home, they would shun me. I’ve heard what they think of a woman too damaged to be fit for marriage.”

“Belle, I know my fair share about scars and I know most people aren’t exactly accepting. But what they’d think doesn’t change the fact that you’re not damaged. You’re beautiful and your scars don’t change that. And now you have a visible proof of your bravery.”

Her eyebrows shot up. He thought her beautiful? Even now?

It seemed his brain caught up with his mouth as he blushed and looked away. He stopped touching her and was on his feet before she could blink.

“Well, you should get back to work. As should I.”

He rubbed his finger, which she noticed he always did when he felt embarrassed.

“Of course,” she smiled.

“And Belle?” he called when she was almost out of the room.

“Yes?”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

She nodded. “Thank you, too.”

*

Bae was up late reading on curses. He was no closer to getting his father back from the demon that took over him. He had to succeed. He needed his papa back. He can’t be without him, without a parent.

And then he heard such wondrous music.

It filled the hole in his heart with joy. He wanted to dance and just have fun like he used to when he was younger.

Bae put the book on his nightstand and got up. He had to find the music.

 


	8. Lost boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which someone from Rumple’s past appears

Belle walked to her room from the library, yawning. She didn't notice how late it was. Well, to be fair, even if she did she would've finished the book. It was worth a lack of sleep.

When she entered the corridor leading to her chamber she noticed someone was there. At first she thought it was Rumple, because he often couldn’t sleep, but the hair was unmistakably Baelfire’s.

"Bae?" she called. "Why are you up so late?"

He turned around.

"You don't hear it?" he asked, bewildered.

"Hear what?" she inquired. She stepped closer to him, feeling a little worried.

"The music," he explained. “I need to find it.” Belle tilted her head in confusion.

"There is no music, Bae. It's just a dream. Go back to sleep."

"I don't have to listen to you,” he backed away from her. “You're not my mother."

She saw him in the mornings, prickly because Rumple woke him up too soon. Those were the only times he was mean and it never last long. This was different.

"No, I'm not. But if you go in that direction you'll meet your father in great hall and you'll be back in bed before you know it, so you should stop arguing."

"That's not my papa."

Belle stared at him in shock.

"Bae!” she belted. “How can you say that?"

"My papa was kind and selfless and caring and this is not him! He doesn’t even care about me!"

"He cares about you. It's just harder to see," she pleaded with him.

She knew Rumple was acting very strangely around, well, anyone, but she had no doubt he loved his son with everything he had. There were moments where she doubted the good she saw in him was real, but then he always did something that reminded her it was.

"Well maybe I'm tired of having to look so hard and see so little."

"You don't mean that. You can’t just give up on him."

"I don’t know. I might,” he sighed and walked to his room. “Whatever. I'm going to bed if it pleases you so greatly."

"Bae!" she called, not wanting to stop the conversation there.

"Good night,” he snapped and shut the door in her face.

She went to her room, trying to ignore the bad feeling. He just had a bad dream. It will all be okay in the morning.

*

 

Rumple knocked on Bae’s door again. So far there was no answer. It wasn’t uncommon for Bae to sleep in, but he should’ve at least heard him knock by now.

"Bae?" he called. "Wake up, son. It's morning already unless you haven't noticed."

He was staring to get worried. Maybe he was ill? He'd never let him heal him, unless it was a matter of life and death. He was quite stubborn about things like that.

"Bae?" he repeated. "I'm coming in."

He opened the door, but there was no one inside.

“Bae!” he shouted, terror gripping him.

_Well, would you look at that? Your little bastard son left you as well._

Rumplestiltskin ran down to the great hall.

"Belle!" he called frantically. "Have you seen Bae?"

She looked up from her breakfast. "No, I haven't. Are you sure he isn't sleeping in? He was up late last night."

"Up late? How do you know that?" he asked.

"I met him when I was going to bed after reading in the library,” she hesitated and then added. “He was acting strange.”

He leaned against the wall, trying to calm his breathing. "Strange? How?"

"He said he heard music and had to find it. And he said...but he went to bed right after that."

"What did he say?" he asked, but she looked away. “Belle? What did he say?”

"He said something mean about you, okay? It doesn't matter. As I said he went to his room. If he tried to sneak out you'd see and stop him right? When he’d get to the great hall?"

Oh god. What if Bae really left? He wasn’t there to stop him.

"I-I wasn't spinning. I was trying to sleep."

"Oh," She paled. “That’s bad. You think he would really leave?”

“I…” he gulped. “I don’t think so. I don’t know. I hope not.”

She got up and put her hand on his shoulder. “What are the other possibilities? He couldn’t be kidnapped, you said you put up new wards since Maleficient’s visit.”

He tried to think when all he wanted was to break down in Belle’s arms. But he couldn’t lose Bae so he held himself together.

“They couldn’t come in here but they could’ve lured him out with magic. If that’s the case I could try to track it.”

She squeezed his shoulder as if she understood his need for her touch. “Okay. How will we know what really happened?”

Rumple stretched his magic across the castle, trying to find anything that didn’t belong here. And there it was, a trail left by someone who obviously didn’t know how to hide it. Or maybe they didn’t hide it on purpose, using Bae like bait for The Dark One. There was also something painfully familiar about this magic, like he already saw it before. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he could track it.

He looked up at Belle, who was watching him worriedly. “Someone used magic to take him. I’ll follow the trail. You should stay here.”

“No,” she shook her head. “I’m coming with you.”

“Belle…”

“This wasn’t a request, Rumple. I’m coming whether you want me to or not.”

She was being stubborn and wanting to help, but she didn’t understand. Bae was in danger. He couldn’t risk losing her too.

“It’s my fault he left,” she trembled. “I could’ve stopped him if I tried harder, or told you about it. But I thought it would be okay. And now someone took him.”

“Belle-“

“So I’m coming too. End of story.”

“It’s not your fault,” he tried to speak to her, but he could tell she didn’t believe him. “You couldn’t have known.”

“You can’t stop me.”

He signed. “I won’t try to.”

He took her hand and followed the trail left by whoever was stupid enough to take his son from him.

*

They entered a town called Hamelin when Rumplestiltskin stopped without a warning. The magic ended here. This is it. There was nothing special about this town, not as far as he knew. Belle glanced at him nervously, but his face didn’t betray any emotion.

“The trail,” he gulped. “It ends here.”

Rumple dropped Belle’s hand and continued to walk to the town square. People were attending a gathering of sorts there. A perfect opportunity to find the person responsible for Bae’s disappearance.

“You think you can hide him from me?” he shouts. As soon as they realized who he was they all get out of his way, murmuring frantically.

“Where is he? Where’s my son?!” he yells.

“He’s not here, Dark One, I swear!” the town leader tries to calm him, but it doesn’t work.

“Don't lie to me!” He wants to say more, but Belle stops him with a hand on his arm. “We should hear them out.” He signs, but he’s silent.

“I’m not lying. Many of our children went missing last night, lured from their beds by some unholy music.”

“That’s what happened with Bae as well!” she spoke.

“What kind of music?” he asks, not sure if he should believe this man.

“From the Piper. Only the children could hear it. Some of them tried telling their parents, but no one believed them. They were sent back to bed. And this morning, they were gone.”

“And who was playing it?” Rumple flourished his hands, trying to hide his unease. Someone was kidnapping children. That wasn’t good.

“No one saw his face. O-only a figure hidden by a pied cloak of multicolor patches, leading the children from their homes and into the forest,” the man explained. “Don't you see? It-it has to be the same man that has taken your son.”

“Then whoever this Pied Piper is, he's about to play his late note.”

*

Rumple was sitting on a roof, waiting for the piper to appear. Belle was asleep, leaning against him. And then he heard it. A beautiful music, calling to him. More and more boys were sneaking out.

“Belle,” he shook her gently. “Wake up. It’s time.”

He helped her climb off of the roof and then he followed the melody. They came into a clearing in the forest, where boys were dancing around a fire, laughing. “Bae!” he called. “Bae!”

He tried to find him in the crowd, but they were all wearing masks. Belle kept calling his name, but he didn’t hear her over the music. But then he noticed the figure in a cloak, playing a pipe. He teleported to his side and took his pipe, breaking it in half.

“Where is my son, Piper?” he hisses.   
“Is that what they're calling me?” the piper asks and there’s something frighteningly familiar about his voice. He took of his hood and then the pieces started to fall together.

_No. It can’t be._

“We both know who I really am,” his father smirked at him arrogantly just like he used to when he was older and Rumple was just a boy. “Been a long time, laddie. Glad you could make the show.”

Rumple stared at him in shock. What was he doing back in the enchanted forest? Kidnapping children?

“You surprised to see me, Rumple? I don't blame you. I'm a little surprised myself. Look who's all grown up and become The Dark One! Good for you.”

“What are you doing here?” he asks as soon as he can move. Belle reached his side by now and reached out to hold his hand, noticing his distress.

“It's lonely in Neverland. The only friends I have are the children who visit in their dreams. But they can't stay. The boys I take back with me will.”

“You're here for Bae,” Belle stated.

“I am,” he confirmed. So the trail was left on purpose and it was all a trap. Why else would he come for Bae if he could take any other boy?

“It's gonna take a lot more than a magic pipe to take my son.”

“The only thing magic about this pipe is that only certain boys can hear it,” he explained, the ever-present smirk still on his face. “Boys who feel unloved, boys who feel lost.” He paused for a moment and the continued. “I guess that's why you can hear it, Rumple. Isn't it?”

“Don't pretend to know me,” he sneered when all he wanted was to get away from Pan. He squeezed Belle’s hand, hoping to borrow a bit of her courage. “You don't. Not anymore.”

“Oh, I think I do. Beneath all that power, you're nothing more than an unloved, lonely, lost boy.”

“Shut the hell up, you bastard,” Belle snapped. “You don’t know a thing about him.”

Both Rumple and Pan stared at her. Was she actually defending him? Him, of all people?

“Oh look who you brought with you. Quite a pretty lady, Rumple. Wherever did you get her?”

“Never mind where he got me. I don’t know what are you trying to accomplish here, but Baelfire will not be a part of it.”

“Oh, he's already a part of it,” Pan taunted them. “The question is what are you two willing to do to get him back?”

“I'm gonna make you regret ever asking that question,” he sneered.

“Oh, I understand you're upset. Most parents' worst fear is that their child will be taken away from them. But that's not yours, is it, Rumple? No. You're not afraid Baelfire will be taken from you. You're afraid he'll leave. After all, being abandoned is what you're good at, isn't it? Everyone you've ever known has left, haven't they? Like Bae's mother Milah. Not to mention your own father. Why should Baelfire be any different?”

Rumplestiltskin took a step back, feeling like Pan hit him. Maybe he did know him after all. He knew his deepest fear.

“I told you to shut up! You’re just hurting Rumple pointlessly. Bae wouldn’t leave. Let him go,” Belle demanded, still defending him. Why was she so nice to him? She said they were friends, was that what friends did? If it was he was starting to see the appeal of friendship.

“You think Bae wouldn’t leave? Well, let's find out, shall we? You ask Baelfire if he wants to come to Neverland with me or stay here with you, laddie. If he wants to stay, I'll leave and never return. Deal?”

“I don't have to make any deals with you,” he protested, still afraid that he was right and Bae would leave him.

“But why wouldn't you? Don’t you want to know if he would want to stay with you?”

He looked away, uncertain. Belle stood on her tiptoes to whisper in his ear. “Take his deal, Rumple. Bae just needs to see you care about him enough to give him a choice. He will come home,” she pleaded with him.

“Alright. Deal,” he muttered nervously. What if she’s wrong? What then?

_Of course she’s wrong. Who would want to be with you?_

But he couldn’t think like that. He had to trust them. They were his family.

He looked around, trying to find Bae.

“You don't even recognize him, do you, Rumple?”

“Well, how could I when he's wearing a mask?” he snapped impatiently.

“Well, he might be wearing a mask, but that's not the reason. Look at him,” he pointed at Bae. “Playing with the boys, out in the world. He's happy, Rumple. That's why you don't recognize him,” he continued to taunt him, but Rumple didn’t listen. He was already standing in front of his son, taking of his mask.

“Bae,” he breathed out in relief. “Baelfire. Are you all right?”

“I'm fine,” he answered with a frown. “Why are you here?”

“I know you think I don't care about you, son, but I do. And I'm here to prove it.”

“How?” Bae inquired.

“Go ahead, Rumple,” Pan prompted him.

He hesitated, but then he felt Belle squeezing his hand. He just had to trust Bae.

“Do you want to come home with me?” he asked him, rubbing his fingers together in a nervous gesture.

Bae was watching him silently for a moment, but then his face broke into a big smile.

“Of course I’ll come home with you,” he reached out to hug his papa. He hugged him back with one arm, still holding Belle’s hand with the other.

“I love you, Bae. I’m sorry if I don’t always show it,” he whispered, tears gathering in his eyes.

“I love you too, papa.”

Belle smiled at the sight in front of her and then turned to Pan. “What about the other boys? You’ll just take them from their families?”

“Only the unhappy ones could hear my pipe. They’ll be happy with me.”

“Well, excuse me if I don’t believe the child kidnapper,” she rolled her eyes. “Their parents are looking for them. Give them a choice to ask their children to come home, like you did with us.”

“Why should I listen to you?”

“Easy,” Rumple smirked. “Because you wouldn’t want to anger The Dark One.”

“And here I thought I already did that.”

“You did,” he agreed. “But I have my son back, so I’m feeling generous. I might let it pass. If you give the other boys a chance to go back to their homes.”

“You’re not more powerful than me,” he remarked.

“Maybe. But are you willing to test that?”

“Fine,” he spit out. “Deal.”

“Great. Ready to go home, then?”

Belle and Bae nodded and Rumple teleported them back to the dark castle.

“Well, off to bed with you two,” he spoke. “It’s late.”

“Not yet, papa. I want to know how you knew the Piper. Who is he?”

Rumple looked away, not wanting to share that information right now. But if he didn’t tell them now, he never would.

“He calls himself Peter Pan. But that’s not his real name. His real name is Malcolm.”

“Wait,” Bae muttered. “Malcolm. That was your father’s name, wasn’t it?”

He nodded. “Indeed. We went to a place called Neverland, looking for a new start. It’s a place full of magic. But it was also a place created for children and he was a grownup. He couldn’t use the magic,” he took a deep breath, gathering strength. “He abandoned me so he could stay young forever.”

They were staring at him and it was starting to make Rumple uncomfortable. He turned around and paced, waiting for them to say something. What, he didn’t know.

“Rumple,” Belle whispered and walked to him. “I’m sorry.” She wrapped her arms around his middle, burying her head into his chest. He caressed her back.

_Huh. Lots of touching today._

“So that was my grandfather?” Bae asked. “I’m very glad I didn’t know him growing up. He sounds awful.” He paused and then added. “I have all the family I need here.”

He could feel Belle smiling against his chest and he smiled into her hair. He had his family. That was all that mattered.


	9. Mystery to be uncovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Rumple and Belle have a talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So this chapter is kinda early and kinda short. Also I won't be home for most of next week so I am not sure if I'll be able to update.

Rumple ran his hand through his hair. His boy was safe. Facing Pan was nothing in comparison to his fear for his wellbeing. At least, that’s what he told himself. It shouldn’t affect him as much as it did, but he was very shaken. He tried his best to forget his early childhood, but there was a reminder staring him right in the face now.

 _How did it feel? Seeing your papa again?_ The Dark One laughed at his pain.

 _It doesn't matter how it felt,_ he tried to convince both of them. _All that matters is that Bae is safe._

_He was never in danger. He left you._

_Maybe he did. But he came back. That is all I care about._

_You can’t trust them._

_But I do._

It was something he could never understand. He trusted his family, whatever he said. He cared about them and that was something The Dark One would never feel.

_She would leave you if she could. You know that. You’re a worthless coward. What do you think? That she'll love you?_

_No, I..._ the words caught up in his throat. He was hoping, but hope never got him anywhere. She would never love him. In that the demon was right.

 _Please, spinner_ , he spat out, still laughing at him. _Don't be ridiculous. She could never care about you._

_She...she does. Not the same way I care about her, but she is my friend._

_But this is not her home. She doesn’t belong here. She doesn’t belong with you. You took her away from her family, from everything she knew. You think she will ever forgive you for that?_

That hurt. He knew he didn’t always treat Belle like she deserved, but hearing it like that was still painful.

_Give her the same choice you gave Bae. Ask her if she wants to stay. And we'll see what she does._

_She wouldn’t leave me_ , he protests, but it doesn’t sound very convincing.

 _Wouldn’t she? If you’re so sure of it then there is no harm in asking, right?  
_ *

The Dark One’s words were getting to him. What if he was right? What if Belle leaves him? What would he do then? He lo-

No. No, he doesn’t. He cares about her, sure, but he doesn’t love her. Love is not for someone like him.

_You keep telling yourself that._

_Argh! Go away!_

“Rumple?” a soft voice interrupted his internal monologue. He froze, staring at Belle. He didn’t even realize he was pacing until he stopped.

“Are you alright?”

“I...yes, I’m fine, dearie.”

“You don’t look ‘fine’,” she argued.

He signed. “You are too observant for your own good.”

“So I’ve been told,” she shrugged. “What is it?”

_He’s just having trouble admitting he’s in love with you, that’s all._

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright,” she nodded and sat on the table. She patted the space next to her and against his better judgment he sat next to her.

“Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

Her eyes pierced through his and he felt as if she could see his soul…if he still had one. His insecurities and The Dark One’s mocking voice got the better of him.

"Belle?” he asked tentatively. “Are you happy here? With me?"

"I'm not unhappy,” she smiled. “I like it here. And the company is very nice.”

He blushed as she looked at him intently.

“But...if you could, would you leave?”

Her smile faded and she cocked her head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been thinking,” he started.

“A dangerous pastime,” Belle smirked.

He chuckled. “Indeed. I realized you left Avonlea very quickly. You didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

“Oh. You mean if I miss my home?”

“Yes.”

“I miss my mother,” she whispered.

“Would you like to visit her?” he offered, not wanting her to be sad.

“No, it’s not like that. My mother died.”

He kicked himself inwardly for his lack of tact.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” he apologized. “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“She was killed by an ogre. She…she died protecting me.” He touched her hand lightly, trying to offer comfort even if he didn’t know how.

“I don’t even remember what happened. I probably fainted or hit my head. I don’t know.”

He didn’t tell her, not wanting to hurt her feelings even more, but he was glad she didn’t see it. Ogres were vile creatures and seeing them rip her mother to pieces would probably hurt her even more that not knowing.

“So to answer your question, no. I don’t miss Avonlea. It didn’t feel like a home since my mother passed away. This is my home now.”

He nodded, his joy at her answer subdued by seeing her in pain.

“You don’t miss your father, though?”

She sighed. “I love my father, but I’m also glad I’m away from him. It was mama who raised me, who truly cared about me. Papa loved me, in his own way. And it’s not like I could come back, even if I wanted and you let me go.”

What was she talking about? His confusion must have showed on his face, because she continued speaking.

“You’ve been very gentlemanly with me the whole time, but no one would believe my word. Being touched without marriage would already put me in a dangerous position, but if they thought _you_ touched me…I don’t want to think about what the clerics would do.”

He almost forgot who he was and his reputation. Of course they wouldn’t take her back – the narrow-minded lot would be too busy worrying if she is carrying the demon’s spawn to listen to her.

“I’m so sorry, Belle,” he whispered.

“It’s no matter,” she smiled watery. “It was my choice to come here with you and I don’t regret that.”

“And is this everything you hoped?” he flourished his hand to cover up his nervousness.

“Well, I did want to see the world. That part didn’t really work out.”

She wanted to travel? If it was what she wanted he could give it to her. After all he had enormous amount of power and his deals often took him to faraway places.

“I could…I could take you with me. On some of my deals. If you’d like,” he stammered.

“I’d like that,” she nodded. He smiled at her in the lovesick way The Dark One often teased him about. She was just so beautiful, in every way, that he couldn’t help himself. And she was staying.

“Why were you asking, anyway?”

“I do realize that living with a monster is not –“

“You’re not a monster,” she cut him off before he could continue. She hopped down from the table and stood in front of him.

“You think you’re uglier than you are. That’s why you cover all the mirrors, isn’t it? But if you’ll just look – “Belle walked away from him, intending to take off the cloth from that cover the full-length mirror, but Rumple stop her by putting his hands on her waist. He wasn’t sure why or how, but he knew mirrors were dangerous. He was so caught up in stopping her that he didn’t realize he was so close to her. Belle froze and he ended up plastered to her back.

“There are other reasons a mirror might be covered,” he murmured breathlessly, not knowing what to do now that they were touching. She was so soft. He knew that, after they shared a few embraces but it still caught him off guard. In that moment, when he was holding her close, it was very hard to deny that he had fallen in love with her. For a moment, he didn’t want to feign indifference.

But then the moment was gone.

_So we’ve established that she won’t leave you. That’s a pity. She could’ve gotten away from the destruction I’ll bring when I’m in charge. Won’t be too long now, spinner._

The Dark One’s empty threats of taking over him never carried through, but he was still very worried. What would happen if he took over him? To Bae, to Belle, to anyone who stood in his way?

*

Belle was standing still, wishing not to startle Rumple. He rarely sought out her touch, much less hold her like this. She didn’t want it to end.

“Belle,” he murmured. “Everyone knows I’m a monster.”

"I don't think Baelfire would agree with that," she argued.

"Bae's just a child,” he whispered brokenly. “He doesn't know any better."

“I wouldn’t agree with that.” she added. “I’m not a child. I know you and you are not a monster.

“Oh sweet, kind Belle,” he buried his face in her hair. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Why should he hurt her? He kept saving her life, it would be counterproductive to save her life and then hurt her, especially since he said he didn’t want to.

“Then don’t.”

“It’s not for me to decide,” he explained cryptically, which only brought more questions than answers.

“What do you mean?” she asked, starting to feel worried.

“I wish you could understand,” he sighed. “But it's better for you if you don’t.”

“Rumple?”

She didn’t understand why, but her breath was quickening. And this time it had nothing to do with his nearness. She was afraid, but she wasn’t sure what she was afraid of.

“I'm sorry,” he sobbed, wrapping her arms around her middle. “You deserve so much better than this. I wish I could protect you, but I can’t, Belle! I can’t.”

“Rumple, please. Tell me what it’s all about,” she pleaded. “What’s going on?”

He cried out in pain, taking his hands off of her to clutch his head in them.

“Rumple?!”

“So sorry,” he whispered brokenly. “Someone summoned me. I have to go. I’m sorry.”

“Rumple!” she called again, but he was gone. He left her alone and scared. With millions of questions burning on her tongue and no one to answer them for her.

So she went to the only place in the dark castle that might have the answer she was looking for. The library.


	10. Hell bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Belle gets some answers that she might not like

The library wasn’t empty when Belle entered it. Baelfire was sitting on the settee, reading a magical tome she was sure he wasn’t supposed to be anywhere near.

“Oh, hi, Belle,” he stammered, bookmarking his place and putting the book away. “I was just, um.”

“I need answer,” she said bluntly, not bothering to tiptoe around the subject.

“Answers?” he asked sheepishly.

“Yes, answers. I want to know why you’re researching how to break a curse, why is Rumple afraid of mirrors and worries he’ll hurt me.” She ran her hand through her hair, exhausted of all the magic and wonderful and strange things she encountered in this castle. “And I know you could give me some of them. And you’re more likely to tell me than your father.”

“I can’t tell you, Belle! I promised him I won’t tell anyone about the dagger!” he blurted out and then covered his mouth in shock. He clearly didn’t mean for that to slip.

“The dagger? The only thing that can kill him. I know about it.”

“It isn’t just that. It’s a little more complicated,” he admitted.

“I don’t care about the dagger, that’s not what I want to know.”

“It’s a part of the story.”

“Then skip it. Just tell me about the curse.”

He looked away. Belle knew she shouldn’t make him tell her, but she needed to know and he could tell her.

“Alright. Being The Dark One, it’s more than just a title and power. It’s a curse. I don’t know exactly what it does. I don’t think papa does either. But it’s the reason he hurts people. The darkness in him that wasn’t there before.”

“And you’re trying to save him,” she realized. Bae nodded.

“He took on the curse to protect me. I’m responsible for the damage it does to him.”

“You can’t blame yourself for that! He’s a grown up and he was protecting his son. It didn’t turn out the way he expected, but that doesn’t mean you’re to blame.”

He sighed. “I know. But I need to help him. I need my father back.”

She smiled sadly. “Then we’ll continue searching.”

He smiled and opened the book again. After a moment he hesitated and turned to her. “Belle? Papa was worried he would hurt you?”

“Yes. He said he didn’t want to, but that he’s not the one who decides.”

Bae bit his lip in worry. “That doesn’t sound well.”

“No, it doesn’t,” she agreed. “We should hurry up with the research.”

*

“So, did you find something interesting?” Bae asked when he and Belle took a break. She poured the tea and grimaced.

"I wasn’t looking into curses. I was searching for information on The Dark One. Most of it was useless, just scare tales."

“But you had to find more than that!”

“Well, I did find something, you’re right. There was an ancient tome, written in the old tongue. It told the story of how the first Dark One came to live. The most powerful sorcerer in Misthaven collected all the darkness that roamed freely through the realm and tied it to a living vessel. But it didn’t say how to get rid of it, nor who was the sorcerer.” She took a sip of her tea. “Did you find something interesting?”

“No. One book talked about how different curses have different fail safes, but that each curse has one. And the same old fairytale crap about true love’s kiss.”

*

Belle tried to focus on the book she was reading, but it did not work well. The book might prove useful, but she couldn’t concentrate. She was sitting in front of the fire in the great hall, waiting for Rumple to come back. They needed to talk.

When he finally came back she put the book aside and rose from the chair.

“Belle, um, hello,” he greeted her awkwardly.

“Good evening. How was your deal?” she asked, gathering courage to breach some more difficult subjects.

“Good, quite good. It never hurts to have a king owe you a favor, after all.” Rumplestiltskin rubbed his hands together and refused to look her in the eye.

“I suppose,” she agreed. “Listen, we didn’t quite get to finish our conversation.”

“Belle…” he sighed. “Can’t you let it go?”

“No, I can’t just let it go!” she snapped. “I want to understand! I want to help!”

“You can’t help me! No one can! That’s the whole point of this!” he shouted back.

“Please, Rumple. You can’t give up on yourself.”

“Of course I can! I’m nothing but an old monster.”

Belle shook her head. “No you’re not. I can show you.” She went to the mirror.

“Belle, don’t!” He reached to stop her, but it was too late. The mirror was uncovered. He was standing right behind her, looking down with a frown on his face, clenching his fists. Belle knows that.

But in the mirror he was grinning gleefully.

"So we meet at last." the Rumple’s reflection purrs.

She looks back at the real Rumple, but he hadn’t moved an inch.

"Who are you?" she asked harshly. He giggled madly, much madder than she ever heard Rumple giggle. "I am The Dark One."

"But you're not Rumple.”

"Oh, on the contrary, dearie. I am him. I am what he shall become. What he's already becoming."

She lifted her hand to the mirror. The Dark One grabbed her hand’s reflection, stopping her. She could feel his touch on her skin.

"You're such a tactile creature," he squeezed her hand almost painfully. "Willingly touching a monster."

"He's not a monster. You are!"

Rumple put a hand on her shoulder, trying to stop her from angering The Dark One too much. His touch was gentle and caring. So much unlike The Dark One’s touch. He put his hand on the same spot and sank his claws into her scarred flesh. She cried out in pain.

Rumple backed away immediately. "You see what you do to her, spinner?" he asked. "You mean to caress but you cut." He dragged his claws down her throat, a small trickle of blood spilling.

"Please don't hurt her." he whimpered.

"I'm not the one hurting her. You are."

Rumple hid his face in his hands. "Stop.”

"There's so much I could do with you. I could take you and make you mine. He wants you, you know." he whispered seductively in her ear. "Desires you. It's pathetic, how he moons over you all the time. He likes your light, pure and untainted of the darkness he's made of."

He wrapped his hands around her neck and squeezed. "But I think it would be better if I killed you. It would make him so miserable to have your blood on his hands, all your light gone and only him to blame."

"Stop!" Rumple yelled and threw magic at the mirror. It shattered, its broken pieces flying everywhere. He vanished them all before The Dark One could hurt her any further.

Belle collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, kneeling down next to her. “I’m so sorry, Belle.”

He pressed his hands to all her injuries, healing them one by one. "Not your fault," she wheezed.

"Of course it is."

“No, it’s not,” she corrected him. “You tried to warn me.”

“I didn’t know this would happen I just knew that something would. But I still shouldn’t let him hurt you.”

"Do you have that in your head all the time?" she asked, ignoring his self-loathing attempts at more apologies than was necessary.

He nodded.

"How do you live with that in your head without losing your mind?"

"You don't." he looked her in the eyes, all serious."You can't. Which is why you should stay away from me."

"No! Rumple, that wasn't you! You would never hurt me."

"But it is now a part of me! I’m both the coward and the monster."

"A coward who stands up to the monster is not much of a coward."

"Of course I stood up to him! He was hurting you! But I can't conquer him. I can only keep him at bay,” he ran his hand through his hair, feeling so very tired. “Belle, I can't keep you safe from myself. I’ll keep you safe from everything else, but not from me. And in the end, I'm the one who endangers you the most. No matter how much I wish otherwise."

“I don’t need you to protect me!”

He raised his eyebrow. “Really, dearie?”

“Don’t dearie me, Rumplestiltskin. I don’t need you to protect me from yourself and even if I did you just showed me that you’re very capable of standing up to The Dark One.”

“But I won’t be capable forever! He wasn’t lying to you. He’s what I shall become. He’ll win, eventually. And you’ll be in grave danger, but I won’t be able to help you or Bae then because I’ll be gone.”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

He laughed harshly without any humor in it. “It’s not some distant possibility, Belle. It will happen and it will happen soon.”

“I won’t give up on you,” she promised. His expression betrayed his confusion.

“Why?” he asked simply.

“Because I…” she stopped herself before she said too much. She didn’t really stop to examine her feelings and this was not the time to ponder about it.

“Because I care about you.”

He smiled gently. “I know you do, sweetheart. But that doesn’t change anything. You can’t help me. No one can. You should accept that.”

He vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

“Rumple?” she called.

There was no answer.

“You are not a monster, but you were right in one thing. You can behave like a coward.”

*

 

Despite Rumple's request to stay away, Belle still acted the same. She was afraid - she was almost strangled, of course she was shaking with fear- but she was not afraid of Rumple. Only of the evil that has taken root in him. And she would not let that stop her from being his friend.

Rumple was avoiding her, or trying to, anyway. Belle was too stubborn to let it happen. Rumple didn't stand a chance against her, never did. She didn't know why he kept trying. He never told her more than few words at a time and started to call her dearie instead of her name again. Bae was not happy with the development so all three of them were constantly cranky.

She tried to push away the thoughts about her feelings for Rumple. It was not the right time, especially since he wasn’t even talking to her. What The Dark One said about Rumple wanting her didn’t matter. He was probably just lying to get her attention. Which worked, to be honest. But he must’ve lied. Rumple never showed any interest in her besides being her friend. It was pointless to entertain any thoughts about being more than that. He needed her help not her unwanted attentions.

*

Rumple was spinning at the wheel in the great hall like always. Belle smiled to herself as she watched him. He looked so serene. And he didn’t yet notice she was in the room, so he didn’t hurry to leave.

Belle walked closer to the wheel. Rumple was still absolutely oblivious of her, until she stepped too close and he looked at her like a frighten animal. He did that sometimes when she surprised him. He put on his mask right away, but in those small moments she could see his vulnerable side.

His fear vanished from his eyes along with every emotion that was in them until they were dark and cold. She never saw him like that. Wait, that wasn't quite true. She did saw him this way. Cold eyes raking over her body, cruel grin instead of the soft shy smile she got used to. She saw this all in the mirror.

This wasn't her Rumple. This was The Dark One.

She was in danger.

"Don't be scared, dearie," he giggled. "Why the fear? You are always so brave. Or you try to look brave, anyway."

His gaze was lustful and smile calculating.

"You're not him," she stated.

"Yes, you are clever. There is a reason he likes you, I suppose."

He stood up and they were so close they were almost touching. Belle took a step back instinctively.

"So brave and yet so terrified. Afraid to die?"

"Maybe. I’m mostly afraid he'll have to live knowing you made him hurt me."

"So selfless,” he caressed her cheek. “You care about him, don’t you? About the worthless cowardly spinner?"

"Please don't do this."

As her eyes met his, she saw something inside them. She saw terror and despair, the real emotions Rumplestiltskin felt. He was stuck inside his body with no way to control The Dark One.

There was no help for her. He can't save her. If Bae finds out what he did, he'll leave. And then the monster wins.

Was that his plan? To destroy them one by one?

His spinner hands wrapped around her throat and started squeezing life out of her. “I’ll quite enjoy his tears when he realizes what he did. He will be so heartbroken. It will be glorious.”

Manic grin, eyes filled with fear.

“Please, I...I love you," she whimpered, hoping it would help Rumple gain his control back. It only filled his eyes with more sorrow.

"Do you? That’s funny. I guess now you’ll never know if he would reciprocate your feelings.”

"No," she mouthed. "Stop."

The last thing she heard before the world turned black was a giggle.

*

Belle woke up with a scream.

It was a dream, it was just a nightmare. But it felt so real. Her neck still hurt and she could still feel Rumple’s eyes on her, full of unshed tears.

It could happen one day. One day soon.

Despite the very real danger, she had to see Rumple. Her fear in the dream was as much for him as it was for herself. What would happen to him if the monster won? Rumple said he’d be gone, but what did he mean by that? She didn’t think he would ever hurt Baelfire, even if he was the worst version of himself. But she couldn’t be sure.

Belle got up and walked through the dark corridors to Rumplestiltskin's bedroom. She was never in that room before, knowing Rumple liked his privacy, but this was more important than that.

She knocked on his door tentatively.

"Rumple?" she whispered. He didn't answer. He was either asleep or he didn’t even bother to try tonight.

The door creaked as she found her way in. She tip toed across the room to his bed. Here he was, sleeping, looking more peaceful than ever.

Belle had an unexplainable urge to climb under the cover with him. But that would be inappropriate, of course. She just wanted to be close to him.

She always wanted to be close to him.

Before she could make a decision, Rumple stirred awake.

"Belle? What are you doing here, dearie?" he asked sleepily.

"I, um," she stuttered. "I had a nightmare." It was maybe a bit silly, she was a grown woman, after all. But Rumple nodded and patted the empty space beside him. She lay next to him, relieved he didn’t mind.

"What was the nightmare about? If you don’t mind sharing.”

"You,” she admitted. “Well, not you. The Dark One. He took over you and...And he killed me."

His face turned sadder at that.

"And yet you ran to me for comfort?" he inquired in confusion.

"Of course. It wasn't you who hurt me. I had to go and make sure you were okay."

"You're such a strange girl," he observed, smiling again.

"You like me that way.”

He laughed at that, but not in a mean way. A genuine, if a little startled, laugh. "I suppose I do."

She smiled at him.

"Can I stay?"

He looked at her, surprised.

"Here? You think it's a good idea?"

"Yeah."

He sighed and covered her in his blanket.

"As you wish."

They lay there for a while in silence.

“I saw you, you know. In the dream. The Dark One controlled you, but I could see your emotions. You were terrified and so sad.”

“He used me to kill you. Of course I wasn’t happy about it.”

“Will it be like that? Will you be aware?”

“I don’t think so, sweetheart,” he whispered. Sweetheart? Well that was new. “I think I’ll be simple gone. I guess that’s better. For me at least.”

“That’s good. I don’t want you to see it.”

“Well, I don’t want you to die.”

“I’ll do my best.”

He fell asleep pretty soon after that. Belle stayed awake for a moment and watched him, memorizing him like this. While they still had the time. Eventually her eyelids started to feel too heavy. She scooted closer to Rumple and wrapped her arms around him, following him to sleep.

*

Waking up next to Belle was even better than he thought it would be. Not that he thought about it, or something.

 _You're not fooling anyone, spinner_ , The Dark One whispered. _And you know there are better things to be done with her in your bed. I could demonstrate._

Yes, he knew. He fantasized about it more than he should. But she came to him for comfort, scared of exactly this happening. Of The Dark One winning. So he was definitely not going to listen to him while she was still in his bed.

 _I won't let you hurt her_ , Rumplestiltskin vowed.

_We shall see._

"Good morning, Rumple," Belle smiled at him, oh, so sweetly and he wished this was real. That there was no sword hanging over their heads, that she was his as he was hers and he woke like this every morn, limbs tangled together and -

What?

It was only now that he realized their position. They were, oh, gods, they were cuddling. He'd move away, frightened of her reaction, but Belle was holding him too tight for him to escape without her noticing.

And it seemed she had no intentions of letting him go.

_Oh gods._

If this continues any longer she'll be sure to notice just how much he likes cuddling and that was a conversation he was not ready to have.

"Belle. Hey. Slept well?" he stammered.

She smirked, like she could read his mind. Oh, that would be embarrassing.

"Yes, I did. And yourself?"

Oh how did he sleep?

He couldn't remember waking up after she joined him, nor having any nightmares. He remembered nothing - not even how he and Belle ended up in an embrace - and that was strange. He never slept well.

"Yes, actually. Definitely more than usual," he answered in a surprised tone.

"Did you?" she asked playfully and - was she moving closer? How's that even possible? "Maybe we should do this more often.”

_Oh gods yes. That would be wonderful._

"Maybe,” he answered neutrally, aware of the danger lurking behind the corners. “But you should not be near me, you know that.”

She sighed. “When it… _if_ it happens, it won’t matter if I’m next to you or two kingdoms away. He will find me.”

_Well, she does have a point._

_Shut up._

“That’s true. I still don’t want you hazarding with your safety.”

“It’s my safety to hazard with,” she argued and it was his turn to sigh.

“I know. But I care about you. I have a right to worry.”

"Of course you do. But it is still my choice. Unless, uh,” she looked down. “Unless you don’t want me here.”

“It’s not that,” he reassured her quickly. “You can come again if you want to. But I will worry.”

“You will worry regardless of that.”

That was true too. Not that she needed to know.

“Perhaps.”

She giggled - a very addicting sound.

“Well, it’s time to rise,” she spoke and got out of the bed.

Her nightgown was appropriate, of course, he gave it to her after all, but that didn't stop him from admiring her bottom and legs.

_You could still get her back to bed._

“Come on, you can’t stay there all morning!”

He smiled. “Alright, alright, I’m coming!”

If only it could always be like this.

*

Belle blushed as they walked to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. She crossed several lines back there. She shouldn’t flirt with him.

Thought he didn’t seem to mind. He was shocked, but interested. He was shy, but that was all right?

And it’s not like it matters all that much. It’s not like she’s in love with him or something -

When did that happen? She tried so hard to keep her heart to herself, when did he have the time to sneak in?

She stole a glance at him, only to find him watching her. He looked away, his cheeks turning a darker shade. Maybe he could feel the same way. Maybe. They had other trouble right now thought and this wasn’t really all that important at the moment. She just has to find a way to break his course. That, if he’d want, they could be together.


	11. Darkness before dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the curse is broken

The breakfast was quiet and slightly awkward, resembling their first breakfast together. Both of them were too busy with their own thoughts to notice Bae was watching them uneasily. Did something happen? They were doing fine. There wasn't a reason for them to stop talking to each other.

Papa leaned for the kettle at the same time as Belle did, their fingers brushing. They both jerked back, blushing and smiling softly. Wait. If they were smiling, they couldn't be fighting. Mama never smiled at papa when she was mad at him, which she was most of the time, to be honest.

Bae was utterly lost. They didn't talk, the room was filled with tension and yet they smiled. He would've asked them if he wasn't worried about making whatever was happening worse.

"It's a nice morning," he said, unable to bear the silence anymore. Rumplestiltskin raised an eyebrow.

"Are you feeling alright, Bae? You hate mornings."

"Yes, but when you forget about waking up at such horrifying hour, it's not that bad."

"Are you ill?" he asked, his voice laced with worry this time. Now that Bae thought about it, he was feeling quite sleepy. But it was morning - there's nothing he would do rather than comeback to bed every morning.

"If that means I can go back to sleep, I am."

His papa chuckled, shaking his head. "Never mind, my boy. I can see you're already feeling better."

Bae sighed. So that didn't work. He didn't expect it too, but it would've been nice. At least papa seemed less lost in his thought than before. Bae would've left him to his thought if he could trust at least some of them to be pleasant, but there was no way of knowing. His papa had a habit of loosing himself in bad thoughts, even before and it was worse now.

“But he was right. It is an exceptionally nice morning,” Belle remarked innocently. Papa choked on his tea and his cheeks turned even a deeper color.

There was only one answer to what could be happening. Adults are weird.

*

After embarrassing himself in the morning Rumple hid in his tower for the rest of the day. It was for their protection he told himself, but really he was just scared out of his mind. He was in love with Belle and he even learned to accept it, but she mustn’t know. It’ll only make her uncomfortable.

Although she was awfully close to him lately. He always thought she was just a tactile person. But he was starting to wonder.

_You are actually thinking she might like you? Don’t be absurd._

He didn’t need The Dark One to remind him what he already knew, what he always knew. That Belle would never love him.

And yet he hoped.

He didn’t know where it came from, the blind hope that it might not all end in a bloodshed. He wasn’t used to feeling this emotion. Hope was alien to him these days, but he recognized it from his younger years, when he was naive enough to hope things might get better. They never did and he banished hope as a useless tale for children.

So where was the hope getting from now? He was too old to believe in things like justice or fairness, not that he would deserve anything other than death if that worked, anyway. He was a coward, a murderer and a horrible person. He was so horrible everyone he ever knew left him.

But Belle and Bae stayed. Maybe that was why hope was blossoming in his chest, try as he might to quiet it. They believed in him. So he hoped for all the impossibilities he longed for. Belle loving him. Being free of this wretched curse. Actually being enough for someone, even if he’s lame and without any magic.

After hiding himself all day he was feeling brave enough to go wrestle with his nightmares. When he got to his room, however, he found Belle already sleeping in his bed. Rumple chuckled. She really doesn’t care about protecting herself.

“Sneaking into the monster’s lair is quite dangerous, dearie,” he murmured into her ear. “Aren’t you afraid?”

“Please,” she scoffed. “What are you going to do? Eat me?”

“I might. I bet you’d taste delicious.” She giggled and leaned into him. He dared to sneak his arm around her waist, burying his nose in her hair.

“I wouldn’t fit it the oven.”

“Aw, that’s a pity. I guess I have to let you live then. But be careful. I might still serve you to the wolves.”

“There aren’t any wolves in this area.”

“Ah, but they are! In the forest, don’t you know?” She laughed and he continued exaggerating, loving her laugh. “I actually think they might be werewolves.”

“There’s no such thing as werewolves,” she argued playfully.

“Just because you didn’t meet one didn’t mean they don’t exist.”

“Yes. There are werewolves in the forest and pigs fly and I have defeated a lion with a mane of flames.”

“He was actually a cursed prince,” he corrected her, tickling her side. She squirmed, trying to get out of his firm hold. “He was trying to get to his true love, who was either a princess or a warrior, I can’t remember.”

She caught his hand and held it. “Of course. And then I, the beast tamer, decided to tame the worst beast of all. The Dark One.”

“Hmm. Did you succeed?”

“I always do. He threatened to eat me, would you believe it? But he turned out to be an absolute sweetheart.”

“If you say so.”

“He was cursed too,” she spoke, a little serious now, but only for a moment. “But the beast tamer broke his curse…with the help of a singing candelabra.”

He muffled his laugh in her neck.

“Of course you did. That’s the best way to break a curse, didn’t you know?”

“And they lived happily ever after. Didn’t we?”

He sighed. If only they could.

“Of course we did, sweetheart,” he indulged her, his mode turning a little somber.

“We will,” she promised and kissed his hand. “I will break your curse and we will have our happy ending.”

He hoped so. But hope only got him so far – his still worried way too much.

“Yes, love, we will. Who did the beast tamer tame after she tamed The Dark One?” he turned the conversation back to their silly story. He needed a break from constantly thinking about the curse.

“No one. I stayed with you and we pulled pranks on the villagers together,” she paused to think about it. “Well, maybe we could tame a dragon. For easier transportation.”

“Mmm. Sounds perfect,” he muttered sleepily.

“Yes, it does,” she yawned. “Goodnight, Rumple.”

“Goodnight, Belle.”

*

The next few weeks were quiet, but comfortable. Everything was fine so far and Rumple did his best not to think about the future, trying to enjoy his life while he still could. Belle kept telling him she’ll find a cure and he so hoped she was right, but he was prepared for the worst.

It was all very bittersweet. The Dark One didn’t bother to talk to him much these days, but it was actually more frightening than if he would. The quiet in his head was scaring the life out of him. It was like calm before the storm.

 

It was a rainy afternoon when Rumple came back home with nothing but bloodied hands. He left to complete a deal with a butcher he made a few days before. The butcher – now dead – broke their agreement. In that moment The Dark One came back with a vengeance, whispering and taunting, laughing at him. And he felt too weak to fight back.

He didn’t even feel guilty, which was the thing that probably scared him most. Not for killing a man, at least. He broke a deal, he brought it on himself. And it was much better to let out the rage on someone else than ending up accidentally hurting his family.

But he knew they will be disappointed in him. And he felt quilt for doing something they disapproved of. Maybe that will be the thing that will push them away. The last straw, when they’ll say ‘Sorry, you’re not worth the fight’. He hated himself for hoping they would do that because it might very well be the thing that saves their lives and at the same time selfishly wanting them to stay.

But it was a pointless fight. A fight against someone they can’t beat. And Rumple was very tired of seeing those kinds of fights. He got rid of the ogres, but he couldn’t do anything about The Dark One. He didn’t know how long it would take him to overpower him. It might take longer than he estimated, maybe longer than their lives. But he wasn’t willing to risk Belle and Bae’s safety out of a selfish need to have them by his side.

He had to let them go.

There was no other way. If he won’t do it now, he’ll never do it. It had to be now. Right now, with the memory of losing control fresh on his mind and the blood on his hands not yet dry.

He put his head in his hands, trying to hold back the tears. He had to be strong now. He never learned how, but he had to. He had to do the right thing and protect his family.

He steeled himself and teleported himself to the library, where Bae and Belle spent most of their time and when they were even now.

They looked up briefly from their books, not really paying attention until they noticed the blood.

“Papa, what happened?” Bae was on his feet in no time. He took a deep breath, willing his voice not to break.

“You have to leave,” he whispered.

“What are you talking about, Rumple? What happened?”

“I lost control. I killed someone. And I realized I can’t keep you here, where you’re always in danger because of me. So you have to leave,” he spoke in monotone, his expression blank. He was inches away from breaking down.

“But, papa –“ Bae started, but he couldn’t let him finish.

"You have to. It's the only way to protect you."

"Papa, no," Bae sobbed and threw himself into his arms. "No! I need you! We are so close! We can save you."

But Rumple knew what Bae knew deep down, that they weren't any closer to finding the answers that they seek than they were the day they started looking.

"Nobody can save me now. It's alright, Bae. You'll have Belle. You'll be fine. You're better off without me."

"No, I'm not! You're my papa!"

"Shh, Bae. It's okay. You're safe. I'll never let anything happen to you."

"You promised me we'll always be together," Bae’s voice broke twice during the sentence. Rumple couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. He never wanted this. He was abandoning his son, even if he did it to give him his best chance.

"And we will. I'll always be here." he pointed to his chest. “I’ll always love you.”

“I love you too, papa. Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m so sorry, my boy. I’m so sorry I failed you.”

Bae cried on his shoulder, refusing to let him go. Rumple didn’t want to let him go either.

“But even if we leave, he’d find us anyway,” Belle protested, finally finding her voice.

“No, he won’t. I found a way to contain us. I didn’t want to use it. I thought I’d have more time. But it’s necessary.”

“This isn’t fair!” Bae whined. “You don’t deserve this.”

“I deserve much worse than that, Bae.”

“No, you don’t,” Belle whispered. “You keep saying that, but it’s not true. You don’t deserve this.”

He sighed. It warmed his heart to hear them defend him, but it would be so damn easier if they just left him. It would hurt, sure, but this hurt them, too.

“It doesn’t matter what I deserve.”

“Please, just give us more time,” Baelfire begged him. “We will find a cure for you.”

“I can’t risk it,” he shook his head. “I can’t risk losing control and hurting you.”

“You would never hurt me.”

“Oh, Bae. I wish you were right. I’m so sorry.”

“Rumple, please! You can’t just kick us out! I won’t give up on you.”

“You aren’t giving up on me. I am,” he spoke, trying to comfort them while knowing it was in vain. “But you’ll be alright. You’ll still have each other.”

“There really isn’t anything that would work?” Bae withdrew himself to look at him, but he still didn’t let go of him.

“Well, there’s always true love’s kiss, but it’s not like it would apply to me.”

“What?” Bae and Belle asked simultaneously.

“True love’s kiss can break any curse. It might work. If I had a true love, which I don’t.”

“How do you know that?”

Rumple laughed hysterically. “Who could ever love me?”

“Belle does.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Bae,” he looked down, not wanting to look at Belle. She didn’t need to see the hurt in his face.

A gentle hand touched his cheek, wiping his tears away.

“Rumple. Look at me.”

He obeyed her and raised his eyes.

“I love you.”

He stared at her, speechless. Surely she doesn’t mean that. She can’t mean it. It’s impossible.

She continued caressing his cheek. He leaned into her touch.

“Please say something,” she whispered. It took him a moment to remember how to talk.

“You _love_ me? You love _me_?”

“Yes.”

“Belle,” he murmured, cupping her scarred cheek, watching in awe as Belle leaned into him. “I-I love you too.”

Her smile was blinding. He returned it. Belle loved him. She actually loved him. He had trouble believing it.

“Will you two just kiss?” Bae asked. He let go of Rumple and took a step back. “You know. To break to curse and all of that.”

Rumple looked down. Of course. The curse. She could break it. Maybe. If they’re lucky. But…

“Rumple?”

“I’m scared,” he whispered.

“Scared of what?”

“Everything. What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then we’re back to square one.”

“And…what if it does work?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll be powerless without magic. A-a powerless cowardly spinner.”

“Well, I guess it comes down to whether you’re more afraid of losing us or of losing power. But you don’t have to be afraid of losing both.”

“I’m not like you, Belle. I’m not brave. I don’t know if I can be.”

“You don’t have to be. Just…do the brave thing and maybe bravery will follow.”

She leaned in and held his gaze.

_Spinner. What are you doing?_

_I’m doing the brave thing._

He closed the gap. His eyes slipped shut as his lips touched hers. Belle’s hands slid into his hair as she kissed him back. He could feel it, the light magic entering his system, chasing the darkness away.

_Stop this! Spinner! You need me._

_No. No, I don’t._

His skin tingled as he felt his body change. He felt everything very clearly suddenly. Brown eyes opened as he pulled away from Belle, the feeling too much to handle all at once.

“It’s working,” Bae beamed.

“Kiss me again,” Belle smirked and he did as she told him. He clutched her close, trying not to fall apart as power swirled within him, two forces battling against each other.

_You can’t get rid of me. I won’t let you!_

_I’m not asking you for permission._

After another few moments of fighting he could tell The Dark One had the upper hand. The light was strong, but it wasn’t enough. He pulled away, seeing his hands on Belle’s face flickering back and front from scales to human flesh.

“I’m not strong enough,” he whispered.

“Maybe you need more help,” Bae spoke and before Rumple could ask what he meant he kissed his cheek. That gave light the additional power it needed to win. He staggered, falling as his ankle gave under his weight, but Belle caught him. With a last few sizzles The Dark One was gone from Rumplestiltskin’s mind.

He was free.

He smiled at Belle and Bae and then he promptly fainted.

*

The first thing Rumplestiltskin noticed when he woke up was that someone was stroking his hair. He laid there for a moment, enjoying the feeling.

“Come on, Rumple. Wake up,” Belle whispered. He decided to open his eyes then. He was laying on the settee in the library, Bae snuggled by his side and Belle sitting on a chair next to him, petting him.

“There you are,” she smiled. “Bae! Rumple’s awake.”

Bae lifted his head sleepily. “Papa!” he beamed. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” he agreed.

Belle kissed his forehead. “How are you feeling?”

He thought about that for a moment. His ankle ached, but apart from that he was content. “Good, actually. Quite good.”

“You’re not evil anymore?” Bae asked tactlessly.

“I don’t think so,” Rumple chuckled.

“Not all of the darkness was the curse,” he explained. “Some of it was me. I don’t know how much, but some. But I can handle that, just like I did before I became The Dark One.”

“And we’ll be there to help you,” Belle replied and laced their fingers together. Rumple put an arm around his son and Bae closed his eyes, ready to take another nap.

“Belle?” Rumplestiltskin said after a moment.

“Hmm?”

“I’m still scared,” he admitted.

“It’s okay to be scared, darling. I get scared all the time.”

“You do?” he inquired. His Belle was so brave that he could hardly imagine her fearing something.

“I do. I got scared just a while ago, when you fainted. I was worried I’ll lose you.”

“I’m here,” he squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to be afraid. We’re together.”

“We’re a family,” Bae muttered sleepily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter. Thank you all so much for reading this story. I appreciate all your kudos and comments. I am sorry for not responding to them - i'm terrible at communication. I'll try to remedy that. Thank you.


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